#or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible

[johndonneswife]

someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck

[iridescentoracle]

okay so. potentially controversial opinion i guess but apollo justice (the game, though actually also the character) was kind of a mess. i wanted to like it, there was a ton of potential, but the execution just did not work for me at all. but it’s been haunting me for weeks and (unlike dual destinies, which also didn’t really work for me but i cannot for the life of me figure out why) i know exactly what i didn’t like about apollo justice and how i would fix it if capcom decided to remake AA4–AA6 and inexplicably put me in charge. fair warning this is at least 80% complaining by volume about what they didn’t do/what they did do that i hated though.

like, okay, here’s the thing. it’s a new story. phoenix has had his arc, we’re moving on to a new main character, he isn’t the protagonist anymore. it makes sense to move him into a mentor/boss role while our new protagonist takes over as the plucky young newbie who doesn’t really know what he’s doing. the problem is that everything about how the game does that kind of sucks.

like. AJ phoenix gets totally shafted for the sake of not letting him be a good mentor, so that apollo has to figure things out on his own, but apollo isn’t really treated right by the narrative either, because the plot is so much about phoenix that apollo is like. weirdly peripheral to the whole thing even though he’s nominally the protagonist. like it’s super obvious that the whole reason phoenix isn’t an attorney anymore and is all ✨ mysterious✨ and ✨secretive✨ is literally just so that apollo doesn’t actually like. have a good mentor who can teach him things? like the entire plot/backstory is just a post-hoc excuse bc the starting point of the game was clearly someone going “well we’re not allowed to not have phoenix in the game, but we can’t let him be someone apollo can actually rely on, so we have to find some excuse to make him weird and mysterious and uncommunicative and also not a lawyer just for good measure bc otherwise he wouldn’t leave a kid hanging like that” and everything else was built up to justify that.

but as if it’s not bad enough that it all requires shattering phoenix’s perfectly good reasonably-happy-ending from the previous game, by extension everyone else gets screwed over too?? like, maya was very explicitly traumatized by the kurain channeling legacy to the point of briefly not wanting to identify herself as a spirit medium. pearl was sheltered from some of the worst of it but was aware of enough to blame herself for bad things happening to the point of trying to run away. the credits definitely made it seem like they both bounced right back after all but frankly i was not convinced they weren’t going to both collapse as soon as the figurative camera looked away again and the most plausible short-term outcome to me was that they would wind up both moving in with phoenix for a while in the near future like maya all but said she wanted to do!! she called herself “the assistant manager at Wright & Co. Law Offices” and said she “[didn’t] want any more to do with [the Fey clan],” that is IN the TEXT i am not reading too much into things here those are her words! i’m fine with her potentially changing her mind again and resuming her training again and moving back to kurain after all when she’s had some time to recover from everything but like. when she’s had some time. she deserved more than two months and i hate so much that she didn’t get it.

on the flip side, again, i get the choice to deliberately not-include edgeworth in this one but i swear to god it should have taken him and phoenix like. maybe four months to finish getting their act together and that’s being generous and counting the month it takes him to wrap things up in europe and move back to japanifornia. i’m pretty sure edgeworth figured out how he felt when he got the phone call from larry about the bridge if he hadn’t already by then and i think phoenix simultaneously realized and refused to realize how he felt during the year he thought edgeworth is dead, bc neither of them can just be normal about feeling things ever, so give them a second for phoenix to stop repressing shit and also mention that he’s absolutely not going to get back together with iris when she gets out of jail and they Will sort themselves out and they Will kiss and i give it like a year tops before they get married. they have a courthouse wedding obviously and get the judge to officiate. 50/50 chance they wind up proposing in the middle of a trial and get married during the next recess.

and in canon there’s not time for all that to have happened bc the next game requires phoenix to have promptly turned into an arrogant asshole and then gotten royally fucked over by the universe and become a totally different person (again, at that, because he’s already a completely different person in the flashback to his last case, why does he act like the paynes that whole time i hate it), but like. this is what i’m saying. phoenix getting screwed over by the universe/writing also screws all his friends over too.

so i just. this game does such a disservice to phoenix’s entire character, and all of his friends, and also the entire first three games and anyone who loved them. it’s not all bad and the person phoenix has been turned into—“has been turned into,” not “has turned into,” because the hand of the writers is so visible, i can’t engage with this game on a fully watsonian level for the life of me because phoenix’s hoodie might as well say DOYLE CHOSE TO DO THIS TO ME. this is a fictional character being written by real people and the real people wrote him in a manner entirely incompatible with his original characterization and i cannot get past it—is fascinating but it isn’t phoenix. i love the plot but i hate the execution. i like the ingredients but the recipe sucks.

but it could have been so good. and at this point i’ve mostly worked out how.

you have the exact same scenario with the gramarye trial, is the thing, up through the point where phoenix wins the poker game and shadi enigmar/zak gramarye asks him to be his lawyer, and phoenix accepts—and then phoenix, like, gets a phone call from maya or pearl bc it turns out one of them just got hurt, or they’ve both come down with some kind of stomach bug or food poisoning or something, some temporary emergency that’s just severe enough that they need more help/care for a day or two than phoenix could give while also handling a case, but that won’t actually last all that long.

so he turns down the case apologetically bc oh my god i’m so sorry actually, family emergency, i gotta go right now, best of luck, and shadi/zak moves on to defense attorney number three: a different, brand new character, another rising star defense attorney around the same point in their career as phoenix, and that’s who winds up using the forged diary page and getting disbarred and turning into the bitter jaded inscrutable asshole mentor who years later will manipulate apollo into exposing his own boss as a murderer, and then technically hire apollo but not actually, like, teach him anything or help out in any meaningful way, etc.

but meanwhile, three facts about this series of events:

8yo trucy is still the unwitting catalyst for the lawyer defending her father using forged evidence that destroys his career, and her father still vanishes and leaves her behind

within a couple days, pearl and maya are basically fine

phoenix wright’s best friend was once a kid barely older than trucy is now who suddenly found himself with no family, and as a result was taken in by someone who had a deep and abiding grudge against both him and his father because of what they did, through no real fault of their own, to him/his career.

and since phoenix did meet shadi/zak and turned his case down, he has every reason to be curious about how the trial went, and to pick up either from the general news coverage (which, considering what a big deal phoenix’s disbarment in canon was, i assume there is A Lot Of,) or to realize bc his personal curiosity/almost-connection means he actively looks into things, that there is a kid who has been left behind and who currently has no one to take care of her. and you cannot tell me that phoenix would look at this kid whose best-case scenario is currently getting swept into the foster care system bc god forbid she actually winds up getting taken in by the only adult even vaguely associated with her at this point, bc phoenix has seen that story before, and not decide on the spot to adopt her himself

and so just like that, we have

phoenix accidentally escaping the whole gramarye trial entirely unscathed

but still adopting trucy

pearl and maya still living with phoenix a couple months post-T&T instead of immediately getting packed off back to kurain

no changes that actually significantly impact apollo for most of the game bc all that’s really different for him is the name of his inscrutable jerk mentor and the fact that he’s gotta wind up meeting/being-befriended-by trucy a little differently

so by the time the actual present-day plot of the game kicks off, phoenix and company are still out there doing their thing with phoenix getting to be his best self and living his best life. he still gets his adorable adopted daughter who he loves dearly. we still don’t actually see maya or edgeworth or pearl in this version of the game but there’s allusions to them all being very present in his-and-trucy’s lives—trucy brings us over to their apartment at some point and we see a stack of steel samurai dvds in the corner and a laundry basket with unidentifiable clothes in suspiciously familiar shades of purple/pink/magenta, details like that. we only see phoenix himself for like, maybe five minutes total over the course of the first three and a half cases and it’s a little tantalizing but he gets to be the one who bursts into the courthouse with the decisive evidence that lets our protagonist win the last case.

and meanwhile, apollo’s current boss is shady and inscrutable and used to be a lawyer and can even be involved in some ✨ secret mission ✨ that he won’t talk about that turns out to be the jurist system, so we can hypothetically keep whatever the intended message of that whole thing was (which, argh, what do you DO with the jurist system. what is the intended message. i get that it’s satire of a then-contemporary development in japan’s legal system but i can’t figure out for the life of me what the satire is actually meant to say), and then at the end of the game Apollo’s Shitty Mentor is proven to have been innocent and will be allowed to take the bar again if he wants to but he’s not entirely sure bc at this point it’s been so long that he might just prefer to move on entirely now that his actual disbarment/disgrace isn’t hanging over his head bc he honestly did used to be a pretty stand-up guy but the last seven years have been rough and he doesn’t really like the person he’s turned into and maybe it would be healthier to treat this as a fresh start and try something entirely new so he’s going to take some time away from the whole legal system first to clear his head before he figures out whether or not he actually wants to dive back in.

and apollo’s like “well that’s totally understandable and sounds great for you but goddammit do i really have to go back to the endless nightmare that is job applications, i hate this actually” and phoenix (who is also in the defense lobby where this whole conversation is taking place) is like “why don’t you come work for me?”

you could even have it end on a joke where apollo is shocked about the offer bc he applied to work for phoenix six months ago and phoenix is like ???? i never saw that?? and it turns out apollo applied via email but phoenix still sucks at computers and only checks his work email like once a year.

seriously though i do not understand what we’re supposed to think about the jurist system. is it supposed to be that fucked up? i’m not actually sure how we’re supposed to feel abt that tbh but it sounds like maybe it’s not supposed to seem like an actually better alternative? like it felt to me like it was being framed as a triumph for our belovèd hero, isn’t this great that he was able to arrange things so everything would turn out all right after all etc, but it was so obviously fucked up and unethical—like, oh, yeah, having one guy in charge of assigning the defense attorney, the judge, and the jury sounds totally fine and like it’s actually going to be more reliably ethical than the system that’s already in place, for sure, not to mention the possibility that edgeworth was pulling strings to help phoenix make it happen and be involved, because nepotism and people in law enforcement/the justice system pulling strings to put people they like in positions of authority that they probably shouldn’t have specifically so that they can do things like “rig a jury,” on purpose, is fine bc i like these guys who are doing/benefiting from the nepotism so therefore it’s not wildly unethical and an obviously terrible idea, oh my god—that it feels like it has to be on purpose?

and like in practice it just… the jurist system as it’s actually implemented is worse actually. it’s genuinely worse and less ethical than the established system where the judge was about to let kristoph gavin off scot-free for the crimes he wasn’t already convicted of.

that said it’s like. very funny on a conceptual level. yet another thing that makes sense if the games are set in japan bc sure of course fictional kinda goofy japan has a more ridiculous version of the thing that’s being implemented in real-life japan right now, but when localized the implications are buck-fucking-wild

because. okay. japanifornia exclusively has bench trials or whatever they’re called for some reason. i have questions about why that’s legal given the existence of the sixth amendment but sure fine the japanifornian legal system is deeply fucked up in many new and interesting ways and that is clearly just one of them. but you’re telling me that the entire concept of trial by jury is strange and new to a lawyer? like. did the entire country just. ditch the sixth amendment before apollo was born? why is this a brand new concept instead of, you know, how things work in every other state. i have so many questions that do not need answers. thank god these games are old enough to have gotten localized it’s so much funnier this way.

ANYWAY. SO. yeah. make apollo’s inscrutable asshole so-called mentor someone other than phoenix wright, have way less of phoenix in the game actually bc he’s off living his best life and having a thriving career with very little reason to think about how kristoph gavin exists, and meanwhile write apollo with All That Backstory in mind from the start though 95% of the actual info should still be saved for game 6, we’re just trying to write apollo so he’s not completely flat and frankly pretty forgettable at times and also including foreshadowing so the khura’in thing isn’t a very obvious retcon when we get there, and turn klavier into an actual person, and that’s like. 95% of my frustrations with the game fixed right there (the other 5% is “i still can’t tell what we’re actually supposed to think/feel about the jurist system” but like. i can’t tell what we’re supposed to think/feel so i don’t know how to fix it).

well okay also the like, pacing and focus would need to be fixed so apollo’s incrutable jerk mentor isn’t the protagonist for half the last case to the point i forgot apollo existed, etc, but like. that’s the next level down of problems you know?

AND bonus points: splitting “phoenix” and “apollo’s inscrutable jerk mentor” into two separate characters automatically fixes yet another of the worst He Would Not Fucking Do Thats of the game, i.e. phoenix just. not telling trucy and apollo that they’re siblings and their mom is alive. bc apollo’s shitty mentor is the one who actually interacts with lamiroir offscreen, this phoenix never does, so apollo’s mentor is the one who has the opportunity to figure out who she is and that trucy and apollo are half-siblings, and they’re not his kids, apollo doesn’t even work for him anymore by the end of the game so what does he care whether she tells them, and meanwhile phoenix isn’t inexplicably hiding that information because he also doesn’t know. still relies on her continuing to hide her face professionally in the meantime (instead of being deeply stupid about the fact that she is super famous, twice, and if she goes around being Very Famous And Popular Singer Lamiroir someone will notice that she is very much also Very Famous And Popular Believed-Dead Magician Thalassa Gramarye and between the existence of the news and the existence of the internet her kids will inevitably find out, jesus CHRIST parts of this game are so badly written), but that’s a given

i have a whole bunch of other thoughts—mostly about klavier gavin bc he should be such a good character but he just doesn’t work, but also i think the structure of the last case would have to be pretty significantly modified to fix the pacing/structural/focus issues where our nominal protagonist is basically irrelevant for the bulk of the case, even while the plot would remain basically the same, but i haven’t figured out how the structure would be different bc that requires figuring out how to handle the whole jurist system thing—but that’s like. the coherent parts/the bulk of it, you know?

i think (really this is just a detail, not a major plot point, but it would have a pretty major impact thematically so it feels bigger than it is? so) the other main thing i would change—and this part isn’t actually real criticism bc it’s not, like, bad that they didn’t do this, and if they were going to make any changes there are a lot of things that should be higher on the list, but listen. zak and valant should’ve been brothers.

because like, first of all, the extra complexity of the relationship if they’re not just two random guys who met bc they were functionally coworkers/fellow students, and instead you have these two brothers with the same mentor and who are both in love with the same woman, and they both know that one of them is better at magic and their mentor’s favorite, and he’s also the one who the woman they’re both in love with loves back and has a kid with, etc? a favorite/least favorite child dynamic occurring spontaneously, presumably in adulthood, in their professional lives? like. it makes everything about their relationship with each other, and with magnifi, and zak’s relationship with thalassa, and valant’s relationship with trucy, way more complex and interesting without actually having to change anything else.

but then secondly, on top of all that, suddenly this is a game about siblings. zak & valant, apollo & trucy, and kristoph & klavier. suddenly you have these three different sibling relationships that are all very different but two of them actually get to be siblings but are super fucked up, and the last pair meet entirely by chance without any idea who the other person is or should be to them but wind up with the healthiest happiest relationship of the three? like, the tragedy of it, that apollo and trucy were separated by fate and literally no one knew they both existed except their own mother, who thought apollo was dead before trucy was ever born, and if not for whatever series of coincidences resulted in apollo happening to work for the man who ruined trucy’s father’s life and getting roped into that whole mess they might never have met at all, and as it was they lost however many years they could’ve had each other, etc etc, and yet despite it all they’re the ones who actually manage to be happy and, like, unconditionally positive presences in each other’s lives, while valant spends however long resenting zak for being magnifi-and-thalassa’s favorite and more talented and all that which presumably put a strain on their relationship bc being resented that deeply by someone that close to you for things that you don’t even actually control can’t feel good, and kristoph and klavier… [gestures vaguely] idk whatever they would feel about each other if the writers remembered klavier was supposed to be a person. and aside from the klavier bits all of that is in the game already, implicitly or explicitly, just waiting for someone to rewrite like three lines of dialogue so zak and valant aren’t Just Some Guys to each other.

anyway a lot of the other thoughts i have are like. details. it probably never gets established explicitly but phoenix probably never gets to know kristoph gavin that well, and conversely kristoph doesn’t care about phoenix bc he might not even know he would’ve been passed over for phoenix before the other guy. ema is friendlier bc even though she is still upset about being a detective and does still think klavier’s annoying, she doesn’t actively resent him for getting phoenix disbarred. also she’s already good friends with trucy. the biggest plot-difference that isn’t just a natural result of phoenix not getting disbarred is that i think phoenix has to be the one who gets hit by the car in 4-2 instead of that happening to apollo’s jerk mentor bc no other human being on the planet could get thrown thirty feet by a car and hit a telephone pole with his head and still only wind up with a sprained ankle out of the deal.

[czigonas]

20 Questions for 20 Writers

Tagged by @sudsandspectre. Thank you! I finally remembered to fill one of these out haha.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 50 on my main and three on a side account.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 169,923 on my main and 13,908 on the side, for a total of 183,831, which I think is a neat number.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Star Wars, Deus Ex, Mass Effect, Pathologic, and Assassin’s Creed are the big ones. I have a few other fandoms, but usually only one or two per.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? They’re all Star Wars ones, funnily enough. And If (Well); There Are Frontiers, They Are Endless; It’s Coming Home; Made Whole Through Broken Jaws; and Time is a Thief (Gladness and Grief).

5. Do you respond to comments? Sometimes. I have been trying, but when I get busy in my offline life, I tend to forget to come back to them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don’t really write angst, so they all have pretty hopeful endings at worst. I guess it’s probably Pandora’s Box (Mass Effect), though.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Haha well… since most of them are happy, I guess maybe Not With Haste (Deus Ex) since it’s pure fluff. Angel’s Chorus (Mass Effect) and And If (Well) are both fix-its, but the ramifications aren’t really explored beyond the end of the fics, so…

8. Do you get hate on fics? I don’t recall any. If I have, I’ve put it out of my mind immediately.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes. When I do, it’s very explicit and a one-shot. I write mostly m/m these days, but I have written m/f in the past. I will continue to attempt to write f/f smut that I am not embarrassed to post (so far, no luck).

10. Do you write crossovers? Only a few. Outside of Pinky Swear (Iunyasha/HP), I only have Mass Effect crossovers published, but I have a few others hiding in the depths of my WIP folders. I have a hard time with them usually, as I want the crossover to be plausible (which is easy with an entire galaxy+ to play with from ME).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Maybe? Someone asked to translate one of my Patho fics into Russian. I asked for a link when they had finished and never received one so I don’t know if they ever did it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes. Before I was comfortable writing my own smut, I had a friend help with a handjob scene. It's very funny to look back on. Also, all of my side account fics are technically collabs, where I fleshed out someone else’s outline, even though they’re posted under only one name.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? I simply cannot pick just one. I usually only have one otp per fandom though; I am nearly incapable of multi-shipping. Some of my favourites (in no particular order) are Fem!Shep/Zaeed, SoapGhost, Jensard, Burakovsky, Fem!Revan/Canderous, JangObi and Kagome/Sesshoumaru.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? As much as I want to say I will finish everything I’ve started, probably Pinky Swear. It’s half an HP fic, and I just can’t bring myself to write on it, really.

16. What are your writing strengths? Timelines, I think. Even for oneshots I will usually have a whole sidebar of notes on travel speeds or when something happened in relation to other things. It helps me keep things organised enough to slide little asides into gaps in the canon (or, as in There Are Frontiers, They Are Endless, co-opt canon for my own means).

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Keeping going on the longer ones. I want to write long fic, but I have a hard time keeping the momentum. Even with outlines, I need to be in the right mood and it’s hard to get there once the initial drive has faded. Also, endings.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I admit to doing it more than is probably necessary (pretty much exclusively for mando’a in my Star Wars fics) but my view is that if you are not going to have translations, the phrase must be inconsequential (one-off endearments or swears that are understandable through context clues, and are only added spice to the fic).

If you have translations, they should be screen-reader friendly. I use a CSS script that translates on hover (long-press on mobile) only when the creator’s style is shown. If the creator’s style is turned off, the translation is shown in square brackets behind the phrase. I find it easier than footnotes, but so long as the translation is easily accessible, I think that’s what matters.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Inuyasha? I think? Or a comic series I can’t even fully remember the name of (Skate Girl? Maybe?). Either way, any digital copies are lost on a very old FFN account, and the physical ones are even further gone.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? This is a hard question! Maybe Quinine (Deus Ex). It’s very dreamy, imo. Same with The Bends (Deus Ex). I think There Are Frontiers, They Are Endless will be very satisfying for everyone in the end, though.

Thanks for the tag! I certainly don’t have 20 people to tag, so I’ll just pass it on to @rigil-kentauris if they want.

[prodigal-explorer]

speaking of your turn to die i need your turn to die mutuals you don't understand it's a need

so here are some your turn to die opinions and if you agree with them i'd love to be your homie! i promise i have lots of headcanons and goofy jokes and badly constructed essays.

spoilers for your turn to die up to 3-1b!

my top favorite characters of all time are reko, nao, kai, and jou! honorable mentions are kanna, gin, q-taro, sara, and shin!

i'm honestly not a massive fan of any of the floor masters or dolls in 3-1 purely because i feel like i didn't get the chance to know them well. it's a real shame too because i think they're super cool! just not quite fleshed out enough to my liking. i'm hoping we at least learn more about the floor masters in the finale because they have the potential to be so interesting!

i don't really like shipping in your turn to die, i kinda think it's unnecessary (though i don't hate on people who do ship!), but if i had to pick a ship i like, it would be reko x nao! i think it could be cute, and they have a lot of sweet moments in the game!

my favorite part of your turn to die to play is hands down 2-1. those attractions are so much fun! and all the mystery is insane, the part with the fake mishima ai was INSANEE. i also really liked 3-1 because of the part where you use the lantern to uncover people's memories about hiyori and asu-naro. it was so cool to get a glimpse of people's pasts!

to be honest i'm kind of a noob so i can never get it straight which route is logic is which is emotion (even though it's probably really obvious), but my favorite route is the one where kanna and reko live! i watched a playthrough of a route where shin lives but i didn't really like it as much, even though it was interesting to see that side of it!

this isn't really an opinion, just a confession, but i'm really dumb and really bad at the logic stuff so i lowkey thought it was impossible to save reko for the first like three years of playing the game...i figured it out though!

i've never once used a walkthrough to figure out your turn to die, i've always just used my own brain to figure things out. maybe...uh...maybe in hindsight, that's why it took me so long to figure out how to save reko...

the only character in the entire franchise that i genuinely dislike is keiji. i just think he's kinda creepy and off-putting (though that might be in part due to translation errors)? also i'm lesbian so i don't really find him hot i think he just looks like a muscly piece of popcorn.

in terms of my opinion on who the "mastermind" is i actually have literally no idea? the only idea i kind of have is that it's either sara or keiji because they're the only two who we don't get to see how they signed the asu-naro vow. but i also don't really get how it would be either of them because keiji was a victim of hiyori's tricks too, and sara just seems totally clueless. it makes my brain hurt to think about so i kinda choose not to.

i think the "gin is the mastermind" theory is mind-bogglingly stupid. sorry LMAO-

i think the theory of jou being the son of mr. policeman is actually super cool! i don't really know why it exists but i've seen people talking about it and i think that would be a cool connection.

i've read a few things about the referendum theory and i think it's a cool theory! it kinda make sense, though there are a few holes that i can't logic my way through quite yet. it seems very plausible though, and it would make for an interesting plot!

i don't think shin is overrated at all. he's a super interesting character and i love how he contributes to the story, and all the twists about him are so unique and exciting! i do hate when people water him down to like a soggy little man who's super weak and innocent, though. the coolest thing about him is his fortitude!

in case it wasn't obvious, i am on team "q-taro is the goat", especially after 3-1b. even after accidentally getting the ending where q-taro abandoned all of us i was like "okay but that was lowkey cunty af of him..." i've always been on homie q-taro's side and i also think it's hilarious that he's like supposed to be an american stereotype.

anyway that's all i can think of! i hope some of y'all wanna be friends!!

[revolutionsoftheheart]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for tagging me @majolination! 💜

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

24

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

166,478

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently: Star Trek, Ted Lasso, Doctor Who, although I'm mainly posting Ted Lasso at the moment (and my Doctor Who fic has never seen the light of day!). I find it hard to go back and forth between different fandoms.

Over the course of my fandom life: Stargate SG1 and Sanctuary (which are still only on FFN at the moment), Once Upon a Time, Madam Secretary (only Tumblr ficlets).

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

five (Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Picard)

plausible deniability (Once Upon a Time)

in the silence (Ted Lasso)

somewhere along the way, i should forget (Once Upon a Time) 

Hide (Once Upon a Time) 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I've gone back and forth on it during my fandom life because a few years ago, I read some post that was like 'you shouldn't reply to comments because you're just inflating the numbers' and that turned me off for a while, but I like answering comments. I like talking to people and discussing fic! So I do respond. As much as I can anyway. Sometimes, life gets busy.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Surrender (Once Upon a Time), although it's really just tragic. Calling it angst almost seems to soft.

Maybe five (Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Picard)? It's a fic about a couple breaking up over and over again.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Ethereal (Once Upon a Time). It's one of two Christmas fics I wrote in that fandom, and I think this one is the most magical and very cute at the end.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, I luckily never have!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sometimes, when the story requires it. I've never written smut for the sake of smut. I need emotions or something to go with it. I also dislike writing it, haha.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No! But I did write a fic in French once.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, but it was never completed and I forget where it lives. It was a group project by a few authors, to write a season together.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I'm going to answer this as the ship for which I've read fic the longest and that would be either Janeway/Chakotay (Star Trek VOY) or Picard/Crusher (Star Trek TNG), but this is a very hard questions to answer. The ship I've written the most for is Regina/Robin (Once Upon a Time). I love River Song/The Doctor (Doctor Who) with every single cell of my body, but I've never written anything for them. And of course, Ted/Rebecca (Ted Lasso) own my heart at the moment. So, my favourite ship? Yes.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oof. Probably White Lies (Once Upon a Time). There's a chapter of it on AO3, but I won't bother linking because it's only one chapter, and although there's a full folder on my computer with scenes and I know the entire plot in my head, I don't think I'll ever have the motivation to write it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do angst pretty well, or like just emotional thoughts/scenes. Exploring characters and their motivation (vs plot, which I don't do as well, or much).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The English language? Lol. Okay, not entirely true, but my self-confidence in the fact that my English is good enough be a writer. Let's put it that way. I find that my vocabulary is never big or strong enough.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If the fic calls for it sure! But it needs to be done well.

I've never written a dialogue in another language in an English fic, but as a reader and as someone who speaks French, nothing turns me off a fic faster than bad French. So if I were to write dialogue in another language, I'd want to make sure it was 100% correct.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

A little unknown local show on message boards 15+ years ago. It's been lost to the ether of the internet.

First fandom of my English fandom era: Sanctuary.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I'm cheating and saying three because I can.

Favourite fic of all time and completed? Probably Greatest Hits (Once Upon a Time). I'm super proud of that one and all the multiple AUs I created for it and the way they are weaved together.

From this past year and completed? five (Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Picard), hands down. I am so very proud of this fic. It's the first fic I managed to complete in 5 years. I feel like chapter 1 is a little rough, but by chapter 4, I impressed myself and it was a very nice feeling.

Incomplete? I've never had as much fun writing and planning something as I've had working on celestial games (Ted Lasso). I hit a bit of a wall because life got intense and then I lost my momentum, but I cannot wait to get back to it! I smile just thinking about it.

tagging in a no-pressure way (and sorry for any double tags): @broadwayfreak5357 @fandomfrolics @somewhereapart @ninzied @the-alpha-incipiens @writtenndust @quillerqueen and anyone else who wants to do it! (I did my best trying to spread this to various fandoms haha)

[interact-if]

Day 2 of the interviews! The lovely Yulisa, everyone :chinhands:!!

Yulisa, author of The Nexus Trials: Trial One

Religious Diversity Month Featured Author

It’s been years since you last stepped foot inside the Silver Nexus, a large kingdom with mile high walls surrounding the bustling cities inside; each metropolis  filled with magic and intrigue hidden around every corner.

Once a place you called home, you’ve long since given up that security to travel the world as a wandering mercenary alongside your two companions– though soon an opportunity too good to refuse arises in the form of a mysterious though promising summons from the Silver Queen herself. Having asked for your company’s assistance specifically, you begin the long trek from the Bronze District, ignoring the vague details in favour of anticipating your big break.

Returning to your old homeland fills you with an almost heavy sense of nostalgia as you walk the brick road leading to the capital, hopes high knowing this job could change the lives of both you and your companions for the better. However, unease quickly sets in as you come to realise nothing could have ever prepared you for the trials that await…

The Nexus Trials Demo TBA | Read more [here]

Tags: sci-fi, fantasy, horror

(INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!)

Q1: Tell us a little bit about your project(s)!

The Nexus Trials is an entirely text based interactive story with two parts currently planned. For Trial One, the player takes on the role of a mercenary down on their luck. Having spent years wandering the expansive lands of the Outside, taking on whatever odd jobs you could find, you tossed your moral compass aside long ago for any potential of extra coin; having debated more than once resorting to selling the clothes on your back to avoid total bankruptcy.

Things begin to look up, however, when you receive a summons requesting the aid of you and your companions from the illustrious Silver Queen herself. The promise of prestige and security is one too good to resist; the offer a gateway to turning over a new leaf and starting fresh. Escaping the lingering shadow of your past never comes so easy though.

Q2: Why did you settle for interactive fiction? What drew you to this format?

I think, more than anything, what drew me to create interactive fiction was the freedom it allowed. The ability to go down these different paths and witness how the world around you changes depending on the choices you’ve made, whether it be for better or worse. Not having to worry about being bound to any specific, hardset canon is nothing short of exciting to experiment with, especially because even with my other non-IF stories I’m constantly entertaining the possibilities of the what ifs? even if they aren’t always plausible. I remember reading a lot of R.L. Stine growing up. 

For the most part, I actually wasn’t the biggest fan of the regular Goosebumps, but the spin off series Give Yourself Goosebumps had always intrigued me. Being as young as I was at the time when I first discovered them, the concept of CYOA books was foreign to me and opened my eyes to a new way of storytelling. I loved getting to dictate the course that the story would take, even if the consequences of my actions didn’t always lead to the greatest outcome. In a lot of ways, the little catchphrase has stuck with me throughout writing TNT, even if it’s been years now since I last read any of the books. Reader beware… you choose the scare!

Q3: How have your identity and beliefs influenced your work?

Everything about who I am has left traces in my work, though truthfully it’s often unintentional. With TNT taking place in a fantasy setting, I’ve done my best to instead let the world take on an identity of its own; though I do admit to projecting onto a few characters in particular. Really, just about the only time I ever go out of my way to bring my own bias into what I write is for really petty things, like my hate for all and anything mint. I don’t understand how people are so obsessed with that burning sensation… but then again, I’m allergic, so I’m probably not the greatest person to trust on that front.

Q4: What aspects would you like to be more explored or represented in media regarding your religion?

The norm these days in more mainstream media is for characters apart of minority religions to mention what they follow in passing, never to be brought up again, in some sort of half-hearted attempt at religious diversity. If nothing else, I want there to be a sense of pride from those token Jewish characters, unashamed in their identity, without the typical pressuring to partake in religious practises not their own from other characters. It’s as good a starting point as any.

Q5: What are you most excited about sharing related to your project?

Would it be cliche to say I’m excited just to be able to share my project in general? I’ve never had the confidence to release any of my other works before, and truthfully me putting TNT out there publicly was poorly controlled impulse on my part; then suddenly, next thing I know, it basically blows up overnight and I’ve got hundreds of people excited for it despite a demo not even being out yet. It’s a level of confidence I never thought I could achieve. If I had to choose, I can’t wait for everyone to meet the characters. Will you find a family in them, or make lifelong enemies?

Q6: A tiny bit unrelated, but what’s your favourite religious holiday?

A bit predictable, maybe, but I love Hanukkah. I have a rather large family, to put it mildly, so our schedules rarely line up which means most holidays tend to pass us by without much thought; Hanukkah, though, is something we’ve always managed to make time for, even if it’s not a consistent celebration. I value the time we all get to spend together more than anything.

Q7: Any other thoughts or advice you’d like to give to fellow authors or readers?

To my fellow authors or aspiring authors, go your own pace. You’ll find what works best for you even if it might seem hopeless at times. Remember that you’re building up these worlds brick by brick with your own two hands, breathing life into these characters you’ve birthed from ink. That in itself is something to be proud of.

To the readers, your support means more than you could ever know. I can never thank you all enough for the encouragement you’ve given me in the times I’ve wanted to give up.

[lizbotw]

it’s only sharing a disgustingly sweet milkshake at the local college town diner after both of your evening classes that suna graciously provides the answers to the math homework.

the spongy pencil eraser is easy for you to sink your teeth into as you puzzle over his handwriting. “you know,” you mumble around the nib, trying to figure out if that’s a 5 or a 6, “i never know why you do this to me every week.” this time the drink with two plastic straws floating in an unhealthy heaping of whip cream is a syrupy strawberry flavor.

rintarou tips forward to sip at one of them and in your peripheral, chunky pink-coated fruit pieces travel up the clear tube and disappear between his lips. he releases the straw with an annoying ah that makes you frown, even if you weren’t concentrating in the first place. “aw, don’t tell me you don’t like hanging out with me.” he feigns hurt.

a well placed sip of your own allows you to avoid having to answer that—you have a personal rule of never being sappy in the presence of calculus. if you didn’t like him, suna knows you wouldn’t be hanging out with him—there are just some things you can’t do, even if it’s for the sake of your grade. none of this has to be said out loud of course, but he decides to be annoying and ask anyway.

actually—well... maybe hanging out is... not exactly how this appears to bystanders.

sharing a drink like this, you two probably look more like a couple on a (terribly cheap) afternoon date, rather than two broke college students that split meals to save money and believe that sharing answers for homework isn’t cheating, it’s collaboration.

ha, as if it would ever be different—things like the former never come true. maybe in movies, but that’s about where the line is drawn.

as if he knows what you’re thinking, suna raises an eyebrow at you over the glass, a smile playing on his lips—the same stupid look he always gives you. it feels particularly worse this evening.

it’s hard to avoid eye contact with him mere inches away, but you manage when a car painted a very interesting shade of red rumbles past the fingerprint covered window. you’re grateful for the distraction.

the subject changes when you realize suna has terrible taste when it comes to ordering milkshakes. “what flavor is this?” you spit out the word as though the very concept of calling this a real flavor is more disgusting than the drink itself, smacking your lips and screwing up your face at the excessively saccharine, artificial strawberry aftertaste.

this is no ordinary strawberry milkshake. no, this is a so-bad-only-suna-rintarou-would-order-something-this-horrible-(and-not-necessarily-on-purpose-either) strawberry milkshake.

“valentine’s valor,” he states matter-of-factly like those words mean anything to you. you stare at him until he elaborates. “their valentine’s special,” he clarifies and is gifted with a sarcastic thumbs-up from you in thanks—it is pointedly ignored and suna slings an arm over back of his seat. “dunno the exact flavor though. forgot.”

it tastes like the embodiment of pink, you decide. valentine’s valor. what a stupid name. there are a million and one better words that start with v... you can name at least five with a little thinking. you should ask them to hire you as part of their marketing team, you decide.

maybe it’s fitting title though. you certainly need valor to even think about taking another sip of that... concoction—which you do because you are obsessed with getting your money’s worth.

“valentine’s day was half a week ago?” your mental calendar helpfully supplies.

the clatter of pans in the back kitchen somehow mingles charmingly with the way rintarou throws his head back to laugh—a scene straight out of a movie really. you decide you hate him in the moment. “right you are. want a prize?” ugh. you stick your tongue out at his tone.

great. as if to add insult to injury, of course you’re sharing an out-of-date love holiday special with suna of all people. valentine’s was four days ago and this is where you are on a thursday night. the sticky upholstery of the booth seat, ripped and fraying at the corners, squeaks and groans and attaches itself to the fabric of your jeans as you shift around, suddenly hot. what a strange situation to be in, you think. this has to be a metaphor for life—then again, you’d been thinking this whole... thing has been a metaphor anyway.

yup, ever since suna sat next to you in a calculus II lecture all those fated months ago and took pity on how much you fucking sucked at math, up until the present where he takes slightly less pity on you but does enjoy emptying your dorm mini-fridge and making you pay for his milkshakes—all of it. this entire thing with him. one big stupid metaphor.

the specifics of how you came to have a routine like this are certainly murky, but two things are for certain—one, your calculus grade is certainly a lot better than it would have been otherwise, and two, you have one friend more than you did at the start of the school year. (that last one is kind of a big deal, you think. the college social scene is brutal. the word friend has started to become more disappointing than exhilarating lately though.)

rin reaches to your left to pick at the fries you’d ordered as a side—you’ve learned not to try and stop him. “also,” he adds, mouth full, “you’re totally getting me a new pencil after this.” yes, true, the pencil you’re currently leaving frustrated teeth marks all over isn’t yours. very easy to forget in the moment. you’ve probably destroyed 15 of his pencils by now for the 15 weeks of the last semester—only 7 so far for the current one. you do the mental math.

instead of drawing in the sharp lines of the differential equation that should be going in the question box, you lightly trace in the curves of a 2 and then another one next to it in the corner of the worksheet, graphite underlining them both in one swoop. the horribly thin paper of the school library’s printer is scratchy as you write but soon you flip the pencil over and under your fingers to tap the eraser (that has seen better days) just below what you wrote. “this is pencil number 22.”

suna leans over to look at the number as if you hadn’t just told him what it said. what an idiot. “glad you’re keeping count.” he settles back into his seat. “when can i expect my reimbursement?”

“you’re funny,” you say, without a hint of humor in your voice. the pretty 22 you had written now has flower petals growing off of the sides as you get distracted doodling along the edges of your work. it’s quiet for a moment as he watches you, or maybe as he takes the chance while you’re distracted to shove more french fries down his throat—either option is plausible and you don’t lift your eyes to check.

something occurs to you.

“rin.” you take an extended pause in between the words as you continue drawing, just to annoy him. you don’t continue speaking until he grumbles in acknowledgment (you try to hide your smile). “do you ever doodle in your notebooks?” now that you thought about it, suna was surprisingly pretty straight-laced when it came to class—you couldn’t ever recall him ever slacking off to the degree that meant his pages were filled with hearts and stars and flowers and suns and atomically inaccurate animals and tiny people in different colored ink. your work was always certainly the more vibrant out of the two (perhaps that could explain your grades and how you understand like... nothing in your lectures, but you decide correlation does not equal causation).

“waste of time,” he says around another mouthful of fries, another one already halfway there to his mouth.

suna is also surprisingly negative at times—but the blue book flipped open to his homework says maybe he’s just a liar though. you squint at it.

“it’s still pretty early but we probably should get out of here soon,” suna says, pulling his phone out from his pocket to check the time and leaning his elbows on the table. “i’ll walk you back. your roomie doesn’t leave the gym until 9—before you ask, yes i’ve been keeping track. it’s not stalking if it’s for my own sake.”—rin is, of course, referring to the long standing rivalry between him and your (very nice, might you add) roommate you don’t really understand but which has cumulated in him deciding he would avoid them as much as humanly possible purely out of spite. (“the only person i like in dorm 302 is you,” he’d told you one time and the throwaway sentence maybe made your heart flutter more than it probably should’ve.)

the bell above the front door jingles behind you as another patron enters. rin glances up at the sound and then returns to his phone with a bored bat of his eyes, probably scrolling through twitter or replying to texts, and picking at his teeth with a toothpick (where did he even get that?).

you try to get back to work (copying) but something in your gut tells you there’s more to his notebook than the messy handwriting and crossed out words that meet the eye.

with suna distracted, you take the chance to carefully slide the book towards you and then, in a single quick swipe, pull it into your lap under the table, already leafing to the back pages—everyone knows that’s where the real secrets are—not sure what to expect. a flash of color makes you pause and you flip back to a page that has the corner folded into a tiny, crisp triangle.

whatever you were thinking suna had stashed in the back of his calculus notebook certainly does not match up with what’s staring you in the face currently. sparkly, gel-inked hearts in neon colors glitter under the fluorescent overheads. in each of them, written in capital letters neater than you thought possible for suna, is your initials, a small plus sign in the middle, and then S.R. (for none other than suna rinatoru) next to it. it instantly makes sense to you. “rin, what the fuck.” one side of the book dangles from your hand, pages fluttering, and you hold it up for him to see, other hand flying to cover your mouth because you don’t know whether to laugh or pretend to be mortified or what.

it’s very amusing to watch how suna goes from a disinterested stare, to widened eyes, to reaching over the heaps of school supplies to attempt to grab the book from you, frantic. you hold it just out of reach. “what are you—” an old lady at a table shushes him when he half-screams. “—give that back,” suna whisper-yells instead in the greatest verbal equivalent of tiny caps you’ve ever heard.

“not a chance.”

he looks like he wants to lunge across the table and pry his prized possession from your meddling hands, but also has half the mind not to make a scene. getting kicked out and then subsequently banned from his favorite diner all on a noise complaint and disorderly conduct accusation was not ideal.

you hum, flip back to your place, and observe the drawings covering the lined pages. you shoot him a venomous smirk over the edge of the cover, one that’s more theatrics than anything, and say with all the satisfaction of someone who knows they have all the power, “oh, this is gold.” he deflates and you feel grateful he doesn’t see right through your facade because oh man are you sweating inside right now. what the fuck? no way suna rintarou is drawing little hearts with both of your initials in it like a lovesick middle schooler. no fucking way. you almost want to tell him that you did the same thing once when the thoughts about him had gotten especially bad (you felt guilty afterwards though, thinking you never had a chance with him, but... now... if he’s doing the same—well, that kind of changes everything).

suna is utterly defeated you think—doesn’t even try to defend himself, just slumps in his seat with a groan. you at least expected a “i can explain!” from him, a last attempt at dignity, not the resigned “i’m never going to live this down, am i?” he mumbles after a few seconds. well, either works for you.

“nope,” you quip, maybe a little too cheerfully because the response you receive is a distressed wail and him banging his head against the table. the old lady shushes him again. you chuckle at that (it feels a little wobbly though because once again, freaking out here) and flip the page. you stop.

this one has similar perfect little hearts drawn all over it, but there are other things. cute, standard shaky drawings of misshapen dogs and volleyballs and other things you never thought suna would take it upon himself to create but all of which make sense are there. but there’s something else. little scribbles in the corners with your last name swapped with his and even him trying out his name with your last one—all of them are scratched out but not so much you can’t read them. a list on the right in a very tiny font that makes you think he was embarrassed even penning the words is titled “date ideas?” (the question mark is in red and the dot is a heart) and has several popular spots around town written down in the local lingo of unofficial names for them.

“listen... please let’s forget about this.” rin’s voice is muffled and he’s still faceplanted. “it’s fine if you don’t... you know... yeah.” if you don’t feel that way, he means. true, the doodles were a pretty good indication of his feelings.

what to do...

well... you take pity on him, let your lips upturn and your eyes soften to reflect the sentiment, and shut the book with a quiet thud. you slide it back across the table from where it came and back to him silently. you give it a resounding pat when suna peeks up at you, expression saying it all—he was so going to get you back for this. you stick your tongue out—acceptance of the challenge. and just like that, you’re friends again—maybe that’s what’s so great about suna.

as you get ready to leave and slowly begin the trek back to the dorm buildings with him, street lamps glimmering a pasty yellow, there’s no awkward tension, no need to ask questions, no verbal wonderings about what ifs between you two. it’s just joking and shoving each other around and challenges to see who can run to the next tree the fastest in the middle of the chilly february night. you know, maybe for now you’ll keep your own thoughts a secret.

[sirikenobi12]

This Capt' goes down with her Ship

I’m honestly amazed at how many messages I receive both here and on Twitter that ask me why I ship Obi-Wan with Siri Tachi over Satine Kryze. I guess I’m mostly amazed because I can’t believe people actually care enough to take the time to message me about my character preferences, that’s just really fascinating to me. 

But, since I’m getting tired of writing this out in individual messages I thought perhaps a blog would be a good idea so that way I can just reference/link them to it later - it’ll be much easier. So, bear with me while I get a little self indulgent (and Satine stans please don’t come at me, I will explain below how I really have nothing against Obitine). 

This is going to be really long, and I’m not expecting anyone to actually read this, but here we go! 

I’ll begin by answering questions that are sitting in my inbox:

1. Who the hell is Siri Tachi?? For those who don’t know the character of Siri Tachi, she was a female Jedi who was two years younger than Obi-Wan. She was originally from the Legends young reader book series Jedi Apprentice and Jedi Quest (written by Jude Watson). She was in many of the same Padawan classes as Obi-Wan even though she was two years his junior because of her advanced skills. She could hold her own against him in a lightsaber duel even as they grew up. She was chosen as an apprentice to Jedi Council Member Adi Gallia at age 11 which was very impressive given how young she was and the fact that a Council Member chose her.

(I don’t know why she looks like Brittany Spears in this drawing, not my fave)

She did have a hard time fitting in with her peers when she was younger though because she was so focused on her career as a Jedi which didn’t always make her the friendliest person to be around (it was really her masking her insecurities) and it was only after she was paired on several missions with Obi-Wan that they even became friends. 

She and Obi-Wan over the years grew very close and eventually discovered their feelings had crossed the line from friends to something more while on a mission when they were older Padawans (Obi was 18). They had been separated from their masters and nearly died while on that mission. So, before they “died” they each confessed their love to the other, but when it turned out they didn’t actually die they decided they’d wait and figure out what their relationship actually meant once the mission was over - putting duty above their feelings. But Qui-Gon and Yoda intervene before the two of them could have the conversation and the Masters reminded Obi-Wan of his dedication to the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan argued that he and Siri would be able to find a way to be together while still being active Jedi, that maybe they could be an exception to the rule or even change the rule entirely. Both he and Siri did end up choosing their commitment to the Jedi over their relationship in the end, because each of them realized they’d regret not being Jedi more than anything, but it did put a strain on their friendship for many years. 

At 23 Siri was secretly knighted and her first solo mission was sent undercover to infiltrate and take down a huge pirate slaver operation and she spent 4 years on that mission, all on her own with limited communication with the Council.

In order to do this she had to pretend to have a falling out with her Master and “leave” the Order entirely, everyone thought she had fallen to the dark side. Obi-Wan was devastated, and he spent several months looking for her because he refused to believe she’d actually fall. It was also clear that he was heartbroken that she left, especially knowing what they had given up in order to be Jedi. Upon ending the mission she returned to the Jedi and was then often sent on other undercover missions throughout the rest of her career (including one where she and Obi-Wan had to play a royal married couple which was super cute). Her actually being a Jedi Shadow is not official and is a fanfiction creation - but, it’s one that I 100% headcanon because it just makes sense. 

Siri was very different when she returned from her long undercover mission, she had lived as a pirate for 4 years and so she was not as uptight and rule bound as she had been in her youth. She began to wear tight unisuits/flight suits instead of the traditional Jedi tunics and she had grown to be a bit more irreverent - even showing up late to Jedi Council summons.  Obi-Wan didn’t seem to mind the change and the two became a formidable pair as Knights and they were sent together (with their Padawans who hated one another) on several missions.

Obi-Wan and Siri were always written as being equals, never one more powerful than the other. They often shared flirtatious banter (nothing new for Obi-Wan) and they seemed very much in sync on missions that it was clear they shared some kind of bond. They never seemed to let their failed romance stand between them and their duty, and only brought it up once more as adults to admit that they still loved each other, but were content to just be friends because it would be selfish of them to turn their backs on the Jedi simply for their love. Then upon Siri’s untimely death (she of course died in his arms) she told him that she’d always be with him. And he nearly fell to the dark side due to his anger, but stopped himself from killing the man who was responsible for Siri’s death because he knew she’d not want him to fall because of her. 

In canon there isn’t much about her (yet), except that Siri is said to be the girl Obi-Wan would hold hands with under the table during mid-day meals which suggests that they had a bit of a secret affair/flirtation for many years.

2. Why don’t you like Satine? This is a bit of a loaded question because even though I tend to write fics centered more on Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the character of Satine or that I don’t swoon over their relationship from time to time thanks to some very well written fics ( @mahizli​ I’m looking your way). I just tend to write Siri more than Satine because I can relate to Siri more as a character, but in truth I also feel Siri and Obi-Wan’s relationship is a bit more well rounded than his and Satine’s 

*ducks to avoid things being thrown at her*. 

Satine and Obi-Wan have a beautiful love story, don’t get me wrong. But for me personally I am a little sick of the Romeo & Juliette/star crossed lovers angle. And that’s totally what they are - She’s a Mandalorian, He’s a Jedi, it’s a forbidden love not just because of his code, but because their “families” were mortal enemies. And I guess I’m just not super inspired by it. Not to mention that they met as children (apparently only 15 years old according to canon), confessed their undying love for one another after a year of knowing one another in a life or death situation and then pined for each other for the next 20 years until they were reunited...I just have a very hard time finding this story relatable (and hate to say it, plausible). Not that they couldn’t have felt love for one another as teenagers (especially in that situation), but that they still felt that same level of love 20 years later without ever seeing one another...at least with Siri they still had to interact with one another on a regular basis so it would be harder to push those feelings aside. 

The other reason I have a hard time writing Satine and Obi-Wan is because the romantic love they seem to have in TCW is written to be very one sided in my opinion. While Obi-Wan clearly cares for her, and admits to having feelings for her at one time it’s only ever Satine who actually seems to want something with him in the current sense. Which honestly makes their relationship feels a bit cringy to me, it doesn’t feel like it’s on equal footing - and makes it seem like Satine is a bit obsessive (I don’t blame her, it is Obi-Wan after all). This is a similar argument I have about Padme’s character, I feel like we’re presented with these incredibly strong women characters who for whatever reason still fall apart when it comes to love...I think it’s a reflection of men trying to write women and it ends up being a bit of a fantasy (the sexy/badass woman who secretly needs a man to save her). So, to sum up - I really do  love Satine’s character outside of her relationship with Obi-Wan. 

Again, this is just MY interpretation of Satine and Obi-Wan’s relationship...I get other people tend to feel very differently and that’s wonderful!! 

I will say, the thing I do like about Obi-Wan and Satine’s relationship and very much appreciate is how it is an opposite parallel to Anakin and Padme’s relationship. And it shows what a Jedi should’ve done - how you can’t have both a commitment to the Jedi Order and a marriage, but you can still care deeply about another person. I do very much appreciate that aspect of their relationship and it’s very well done from that perspective.

3. So, why SiriWan after all these years? Well, I’m drawn to Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship for several reasons, but mostly because they are written as equals/partners (as I had mentioned above), both have moments where you can see the love they hold for one another - their feelings are very much shared and not one sided, but above all it’s not the main defining factor of their relationship. They are Jedi and friends before anything else, and I love that! It may not be as flashy or maybe even as passionate as say Satine or Cody but to me it’s more full and well rounded. I can also see their relationship growing and changing over the years, they aren’t stuck in one place or in the past.  

I also tend to find the Jedi culture more fascinating than the Mandalorians. I know, I know, I’m a heretic. That’s not to say, again that I don’t think Satine on her own isn’t fascinating, I just am a little tired of Mandalore’s importance in virtually every aspect of Star Wars these days and I feel like there is only so much you can do with Obi-Wan having feelings for a Mandalorian, where as him navigating a relationship with another Jedi is more interesting. The Jedi are allowed to be intimate with people, contrary to popular belief they are allowed to love, they just can’t become possessive/attached - I feel like two Jedi would have an easier time navigating that than someone who wasn’t raised with that same code. I think Siri and Obi-Wan have more opportunities to have a more realistic and adult relationship and I like writing/exploring that. 

The other thing I like about Siri and Obi-Wan specifically is the fact that neither ever really considered leaving the Order for the other. They knew how important being a Jedi was to the other, and I think having a love interest that Obi-Wan didn’t consider leaving for is an important distinction. 

Instead he thought they would be able to change the rules/code because he assumed it would be obvious that their love was pure and not an attachment. Now, obviously they both realized later that it was just foolish/young love talking (because I’m sure teenagers have to be extra careful of forming attachments), but what I really adore the concept that Obi-Wan “by the code” Kenobi had loved Siri so much that he’d even remotely consider the idea that he’d want the rules to change for her/them (and Siri “by the code” Tachi felt the same about him). There is something incredibly romantic about that - naïve, but romantic. 

I also believe that romantic love doesn’t automatically equal “true love”. I personally feel that Obi-Wan and Siri have a love that is on such a deep level that their relationship doesn’t always have to be romantic. They simply just love one another, in whatever form that takes at any given period in time throughout their lives, sometimes it takes the form of just friends, sometimes lovers, sometimes romantic. And I wish we saw more relationships like that in various media. But I get why we don’t, they are harder to write and less overtly sexy/dramatic.

Also, when someone says the phrase:

“Forgive me if I still think I know you better than anyone.” (Siri)

And it’s followed immediately with:

“You do”  (Obi-Wan)

My heart just melts, because that to me is love!!

4. So, you actually think Obi-Wan loved both Siri & Satine? Yes, I do...100%. I think they all loved other people at different points in their lives. I personally feel that most of Obi-Wan’s various ships (with exceptions of Master/Padawan ships...sorry, just not my bag) actually happened. I could see a young Obi-Wan having a fling with Quinlan Vos (I doubt they could handle more than that), I could definitely see him have an attraction/affection towards Cody (I don’t think given the power dynamic Obi-Wan would ever allow anything to actually happen between them though), I even believe he and Ventress had a rather confusing and passionate night together (maybe even more than one), I can see him easily having a relationship at one point with Taria Damsin (to which Siri would give him endless crap about because he seems to have a thing for Jedi Shadows). I’m sure he even had a relationship with Annileen on Tatooine to help find some comfort during his exile. To me all of that makes so much more sense than him (and Satine) pining away for one another for 20+ years. 

Allowing Obi-Wan to have multiple loves in his life also helps showcase the idea of non-attachment. It’s not that Jedi promote promiscuity - though they won’t judge anyone for it (I see the Jedi very much in the mindset of: it’s your body/your choice) it’s that the idea of attachment means possessing someone, thinking you own someone and also putting that person’s value over others. The idea that Obi-Wan could find love and value in a multitude of lovers to me shows him capable of loving without attachment - He is able to let these people go when the relationship has run its course...it’s very healthy. 

Not to mention that realistically people tend to have multiple relationships and loves throughout their lives. To only ever love one person is incredibly unrealistic, unhealthy and frankly screams attachment to me *cough Anakin, cough*.

In conclusion: If you’re still reading this (did you not have anything better to do with your time???) I do hope you have a bit more of an understanding why I personally like to write Obi-Wan and Siri’s relationship instead of his and Satine’s. Though if you read my fics (thank you if you do) I hope you realize that I try to not make the stories all about their relationship - yes, it pops up here and there, but I try not to make it the focal point. I believe both Obi-Wan and Siri are so much more than just a romance and that’s what I really love writing. 

But I raise a glass and toast all of those who prefer to ship Obitine or CodyWan or Ventrobi (or whatever Obi-Wan and Quilan’s ship name is) - I love reading your take on those relationships and I hope you don’t mind if an old SiriWan shipper joins the fun!

Phew, rant over...man, does anyone else have to defend their OTP preferences to strangers?? It’s just so odd to me! 

Thanks for reading, and if you’re a Siri, Obi-Wan or SiriWan fan drop me a line - I can seriously talk about them for hours! 

[electricbluebutterflies]

Nina/Mattias + fight sex but they’re idly bickering about something that doesn’t matter very much

Canon-divergent / the little adventure up in frozen hell took long enough for this dynamic to develop (because what even is a timeline and I have no clue how long it actually was on the show). Also, for plot purposes and context, this does make use of my belief that everyone is just SLIGHTLY aged up on the show and in my head most of the main lineup is 20ish. Oh, and first time writing these babes so fingers crossed I got characterization okay. Obviously NSFWish ahead, a little more graphic than I’ve written in a while and also involves a First Time...

He’s keeping the third blanket from her.

It is, objectively, the most petty Nina has felt since the whole almost-dying thing happened, maybe even since the getting-captured bit. Trying to get under his skin, trying to handle the daily shifting of their dynamic, has been almost as exhausting as trying to stay alive. Which in itself is enough of a challenge, because somehow they are lost and whenever Nina gets back to civilization she is going to have so many comments about Druskelle navigational instincts or the apparent total lack thereof. So. Many. Comments. The moment she has a possibly appreciative audience, because she is not wasting her breath on that here right now and-

At least tonight they’re in some kind of fishing shack again, clear space to build a fire and a pile of blankets of various questionable quality. There have been nights they haven’t been so lucky. She’s saving her energy for where it matters. But on the other hand, she is a delicate fragile creature who has made a point of avoiding this sort of climate, and…

Mathias still has the third blanket, and the fire is going well enough that they objectively can stay on opposite sides of this space, and Nina decides it’s time to change the game.

He’s pretty, okay? He’s annoying and stubborn and honestly at this point him technically being The Enemy is relatively low on the list of reasons he’s stomping on her every last nerve, but the man has two things in his favor – he’s loyal, and he is very nice to look at. Nina does not historically have the attention span when it comes to that level of pretty, but this one has decided to make it difficult for her. Like, he can say up and down that he does not want her, but they’ve shared a sleep-space – “bed” is too nice a word for most of those situations – for a week or so and she doesn’t need words, she knows what she wakes up to.

And she knows how damn respectful he is, she thinks as she starts undoing her vest buttons. This outfit, while very cute two weeks ago before her entire life took a very undesired detour, was not made for seduction. But if she does it slow enough, she hopes she won’t set him off. The other time she had to deal with that element of things, he was polite and turned his back even though she didn’t ask him to, and she assumes the same will happen here and she’ll get nowhere and-

Okay, fine, it’s not like taking off her vest reveals anything outright explicit. The current light makes her shirt a little more see-through than it’s meant to be, but still. She is about as decent as she ever gets.

“What are you doing?” he asks, tone about as calm as she’s ever heard him.

“You do not need two blankets,” Nina counters. “I want.”

And oh does that phrase cover more than his little Fjerdan mind has probably ever thought of. All those comments he’s made about assuming she’s trying to seduce him? Yeah, hasn’t been the main goal yet but she’s thought about it. Seeing what she could do to him – she does not expect he’d take any initiative there, highly doubts he’s ever even kissed anyone – would not be the worst way to spend an evening. So, that’s part of the plan now. Make him squirm, get on top of him, and take her prize. Should be easy.

As if to prove her point, she starts loosening the laces of her shirt just enough to easily take it off. She hadn’t bothered to wear anything under it, another brilliant idea proving that two-weeks-ago Nina had questionable judgment in all things, and it is all too easy to push it up over her shoulders and off her arms and…

He’s still watching. He looks wide-eyed and possibly concussed, but he’s still watching.

If Nina were a different sort of person, and probably also if she had gotten laid within the past six months (for the record it has been eight and that cute little bartender with the long nails was a way better lover than she was an informant), she would cross her arms over her breasts and stop here and wait for whatever protective instincts Mathias has to kick in. Even given what she’s just done, she looks vulnerable and cute enough to wake him up like that, and-

“What are you doing?” he asks again, this time more hostile. Good. When he’s frustrated his voice gets all growly, and that does things to her, and-

“Can we get this over with?”

“This?”

“The part where we have questionable hatesex that I will forget ever happened within the next year and you will remember for the rest of your life because whatever little creature gets stuck with you someday will not fuck you like I want to.”

For a moment, she’s pretty sure she broke him. This is definitely not about the blanket anymore, and-

“I. Don’t. Hate. You.”

Nina laughs. “Yeah well you are deeper in denial than anybody I’ve ever met. I am everything that scares you and you are stuck with me and I’m not sure which part of your code I do not violate but I am sure you would’ve-”

“You saved my life. I owe you everything.”

“Cute. Obligation. Great reason to put up with someone but still do everything you can to drag your feet about it.”

“Why do you… want me?” He sounds all hesitant, and good grief has nobody ever told this man what he looks like? Or do all of his people look that good at that age… that’s plausible enough…

“Limited options right now. It’s you or my hand and you’re warmer.”

She is not sure what she’s expecting beyond not what he actually does.

Fine, so she’s been good and hasn’t looked more than she had to when he’s been in a state of undress. Watching him strip right now, layers of leathers and furs that are apparently frightfully easy to take off, is different. He is wanting her to watch, keeping his eyes on her the whole time until he is completely naked in front of her and… she can’t help licking her lips, he is pretty and she wants all of that all over her. Now.

“This or your hand,” he repeats in a way that suggests that at least she probably won’t have to explain the general patterns of female masturbation to him. “Make your choice.”

She about tackles him.

He’s built like a damn tree, Nina reminds herself in the process. Solid enough to handle her attempt at literally jumping him, which doesn’t exactly work but does throw off his balance for a moment, and she gets him pulled down for a bitey kiss. He has just a little bit of scruff now and she’d wanna see what that feels like between her legs but also she is pretty sure Fjerdan men do not do that and she doesn’t want to completely wreck him in one go, and while she still suspects all of this is new to him, he has good instincts.

Her skirt and underwear are feeling like too much of an undesired obstacle, so she undoes them with her free hand while trying to stick her tongue down his throat. So she’s a little aggressive, whatever, he’s clearly into it and nobody gets hurt by it.

“What do you need me to do,” he breathes, and oh he can admit being clueless, this is a treasure, this is-

She grabs his wrist and puts his hand between her thighs. “Poke around until you like the noises I’m making.”

Mathias has good hands. She’s known this for several days now, but it is a different thing to know it with one of said hands exploring her soft parts. She feels a fingertip inside her then quickly pulled back, another batting her clit back and forth with uncertainty. Then the finger inside her is back, and she knows how wet she is, and-

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmurs.

“That’s why I’m leading. I’m not giving you the chance.”

But he couldn’t hurt her like this, she thinks. Not with his hands prepping her and a second finger up inside her and accidentally finding her sensitive spot, not with his prick hard against her belly, not with his mouth taking kisses as he learns what he likes. There is something inherently good in him and she worries for a moment that what they are about to do will break it, and yet-

“Get on your back,” she orders. Easier for both of them if she leads, she reminds herself.

He does without any complaint, and she takes a moment to enjoy the view. The solidness of him, for the next few minutes all hers. Would any of the girls he might get stuck with back home be able to handle this? And the way he’s looking up at her, a scared but willing participant in whatever she decides to do. Maybe he’s right. Maybe hatesex is the wrong word.

She straddles him, knees around his hips, and drops.

Blame the dry spell. Blame the absolute weirdness of the situation. Blame the fact that she is tired and hungry and cold. None of that matters. He feels good inside her and she makes a noise she cannot describe and-

“Am I…?”

“No. Feels good.”

She rolls her hips against his to prove a point, works him even deeper into her and leans down for more kisses. She can taste the shock and the innocence of him. This isn’t how he thought his first time would go, she is sure of it now, and yet he is allowing her and-

His hips jerk up and she makes a shocked little noise. “Do that again.”

He does, and she continues her pattern, and… it’s good, on her side. Not the best sex she’s ever had, but his hesitance is useful enough. She doesn’t trust him to say if he’s getting close, so she stays focused on his face, looking for signs, looking for-

She shifts her angle just a little bit, his prick hits the right spot inside her harder than she expects, and she shatters.

As she comes down, she sees that his expression has turned to something worse, scared and worried and unable to speak. He’s still hard inside her, at least, but he is motionless and cold and she doesn’t-

“Did I hurt you?”

Nina laughs. She shouldn’t, this is a legitimately valid question, but-

“No. What you just did felt amazing. Your turn.”

She resumes rolling her hips against his to indicate the conversation is over and she does not want to explain herself, and a few clenches of her inner walls later he spills inside her. It’s a beautiful thing to experience, the sudden warmth overlapping with the strangled gasp of surprise and-

“You know this means I have to marry you,” he says when he’s capable of coherent thought. “If there’s any chance…”

She shifts position so their bodies are no longer connected. “No. It doesn’t.”

“But I…”

“We’re too different,” she murmurs. “You know that. There’s nowhere safe. If anything… if the worst happens, I’ll lie.”

“Honor is honor. If there is even a chance-“

And oh, for a moment she wants it too. For a moment, she lets herself think about the impossibility of being all that she could be, both Grisha and wife, not forced to choose between her complexities. Unrealistic, she knows, a flighty daydream at best but she wants all the same.

“Nothing to worry about. My last cycle finished three days before your people tried to kill me, so… right now I can’t get pregnant.”

“Still. If it happened… I would stand by you.”

She kisses his face, covers the angles of him in wet kisses. “Good to know.”

[thewhitefluffyhat]

Cat Got Her Tongue Chapter 6: Familiar Feuding

New chapter can be read here! In this one, Satoko and Rika finally get around to kissing. Also some other stuff happens that’s probably not important and won’t ever come up again. Right?

This chapter also briefly touches on two headcanons of mine that I won’t have a chance to explore in much detail in the fic itself. If you’re curious, here’s what I was trying to imply…

What’s up with Satoko’s weird descriptions of Rika’s smell/taste?

This came up in Chapter 4 as well, but it’s a little more overt here.

And it could be that Satoko is just super gay and finds her girlfriend really hot. That’s totally a valid read.

But if, like me, you like blending cute and creepy, here’s a different answer: it’s brainworms.

Because cool science fact: you know how toxoplasma gondii (the real parasite that Hinamizawa Syndrome is often compared to) alters the brain’s perception of smell to make the target host more attractive to secondary hosts? Yeah, apparently those changes to the brain are permanent even after the parasite is gone.

And while I’m sure it’s unintentional, I find it a really interesting coincidence that in canon, it’s the two characters who have reached the terminal stages of the disease (Satoko and Rena) who really seem to enjoy getting up in Rika’s personal space.

So it’s not only plausible that Satoko’s sense of smell is permanently impacted when it comes to Rika - it’s arguably quite realistic. And of course, the sensation of taste is very heavily influenced by smell.

Your mileage may vary on whether you find that idea adorable or horrifying, but I think it’s actually more of the former. Like, most of the persistent side effects Satoko has to deal with make her miserable - she’s still living with a heightened sense of paranoia and she still struggles to re-assess situations after being scared or triggered. But in this case, the side effect is just that her girlfriend (who she already loves, this isn’t that other dark idea I had) seems even more attractive. A tiny bit of good amid all the bad, haha.

As for why sweetness and chocolate in particular? Sweetness because the Syndrome parasite is linked to Hanyuu, who sure loves her sweets. And chocolate because like theobromine, what Satoko is experiencing is not literally the taste of sugar, but rather a chemical that triggers a very mild sense of euphoria/arousal in her. Unfortunately, Satoko has neither the knowledge to understand what’s happening to her, nor the words to describe it. So she’s narrating the best she can.

…Which then brings up an fun followup headcanon: maybe the reason Lambda turns her body into sweets is to try to mimic for Bern how Bern tastes to her.

Did Rika just imply there were records of gay people in ancient Hinamizawa?  

More or less, yeah. Obviously this isn’t in canon, but it’s still extrapolating from a couple of stray ideas that are canon.

First, this detail as a whole was inspired by the fairly common historical pattern where a culture will have more permissive attitudes towards people we would now consider queer, but once colonization/Westernization hit, then those attitudes were forcefully changed and the practices buried.

Furthermore, Oyashiro-sama’s original commandments were literally just "don't leave the village" and "don't let anybody into the village".  And according to Rika, the "god of marriage and neighborly love" aspect of the deity came about to make people be less suspicious of each other, mitigating one of the triggers for the Syndrome. So I find it quite unlikely that traditional Oyashiro worship would include dictates against queerness - the whole point of the religion was to make people less hateful toward each other, not more.

We also know that between the Meiji era and WWII, people from Hinamizawa were discriminated against elsewhere in Japan for being “impure.” (Apparently Oryou still has memories of this time.) Given that the village changed its entire name in an attempt to improve relations, I don’t think it would be far-fetched that they’d also try to downplay any historical records or practices they had that didn’t match up with Imperial Japan’s image.

And finally: would Rika and Mion know about this history if it existed? Probably yes. In Rika’s case, I like to think that she did the queer historian thing of reading between the lines of old records and realizing what they meant. She likely found it comforting. In Mion’s case, her grandmother might even have told her stories about what aspects of the religion she and Rika’s grandparents decided to put away.

Alternatively: You just know Takano has a whole conspiracy notebook on this topic that she’s ranted about to anyone who will listen. And she probably has a whole other notebook theorizing what the references to “horned women” of the Furude clan could imply...

[sunnysidekit]

Summary: All is fair in love and war. And boxing, too, apparently.

Pairing: Ben ‘Benny’ Miller x F!Reader (no y/n, reader’s boxing nickname is ‘Nyx’)

Warnings: Language, mentions of violence.

Word count: 2.2k

My masterlist

Everyone likes a good mystery. Don’t even try to deny it; whether you like Sherlock Holmes or if you’re more of an Agatha Christie fan, none of us can really escape the allure of a good conundrum every now and again. Some people can stare in the face of their mystery and not recognize it for quite some time, while others can practically smell them from a mile away. Ben Miller is part of, well, both groups.

Personally, he likes mysteries and surprises and such, but his army days have taught him all of those are a bad thing. A mission can collapse after the smallest detail changes, after all. Sometimes those missions are called off; other than the fact that he can’t do his job when that happens, he’s not really bothered by it. But when something catches him and his team by surprise during a mission and they have to get on with it anyway, things tend to… let’s say, not end well for everyone. And that’s gently put, of course.

Which is why when he’s at home between deployments, he likes his simple habits. They provide joy and adrenaline, and boy does he need both to function well. One of those habits is boxing. He likes it because of its simplicity; you punch your opponent, they punch you back, and so on and so forth until one of you stops. He’s good at it, too. Will always says that’s because he practiced a lot on him when they were younger. Ben says he’s the one with the good genes. Their mother was a fighter, too, after all.

The other reason he likes boxing is because your opponents always try to surprise you with a little mystery move. It’s fun for him to figure out how to respond in a split second, and the rush he gets when he does so successfully is almost unparalleled. Today, though, the only real surprise is the sudden appearance of his very own mystery. And, hey, you might know where this one’s going: it appears in the shape of a woman…

Benny whoops when he kicks open the door to his old high school gym’s changing room, but it sounds a bit less enthusiastic than it did after his last match. He knew he should have listened to Will and gone somewhere, anywhere else than back to Red Feather Lakes, but he’s not about to mention it when he can already imagine the smug grin spreading across his brother’s face.

He won, that’s what counts. And it’s not that bad to have done so after what is sure to be America’s easiest boxing match. That just means he’s good at it. The crowd went just as wild as it usually does, even though there were significantly less attendants than two weeks ago. Somehow, none of the arguments he tells himself really convinces him.

“All right!” Catfish says triumphantly from behind him. “Looks like all that training paid off, didn’t it?”

“Yeah…” Benny trails off as his slightly blurry vision comes back into focus. There’s someone sitting on one of the benches, someone he doesn’t know. It’s a woman; her aura tells him she’s all business, but her clothes tell him she also definitely plays. “Who’re you?”

The woman doesn’t respond immediately; only after half a minute of casually typing away on her phone does she look up and meet his eye. “Name’s Val,” she says, her facial expression one he can’t quite place. “And I’m about to ask you something you won’t be able to ignore.”

It’s important to notice that Benny isn’t particularly patient in his post-fight high, something Frankie knows very well. He becomes a bomb of electric energy that, once set off, won’t stop until every single muscle in his body gives out. And he’s about to be set off.

“Val, is it?” Frankie smiles at the woman, swiftly moving his friend to the showers. “Why don’t we talk while he cools down, hm?”

“You’re not the one I want to ask a question,” she says calmly, not taking her eyes off Benny. “You’re a Delta boy, aren’t you? I can see it in the way you fight. It takes regular boxers years to develop such a sensitive, quick response capability.”

“Yeah, and?”

“And that makes me think that oaf out there’s a long way from even thinking of acquiring your skillset. It’s impressive how easily you had him on the mat.”

“Ma’am, if you want an autograph-” Frankie tries, sensing the ticking time-bomb next to him is about to blow, but Val immediately interjects.

“Which is precisely what caught my eye. These men are no challenge for you anymore, but I think I know someone who could be. Should you accept their invitation, that is.”

“Do I know him?” Benny narrows his eyes at her, trying by god to figure out her angle in all of this. She smirks and closes her eyes a few seconds longer than a normal blink would take; touchy subject, maybe? Or perhaps he’s right and he has seen the guy before.

“You might have seen them around, sure. But I doubt you’d remember them.”

“So, what? I say yes and I’ll fight your friend here next week or something?” Benny snatches his towel from his bag and snaps it against the wall in annoyance.

“I’m afraid my friend’s a little more… complex than that, Mr. Miller.”

“Hey, uh, no thanks,” Frankie cuts in, waving his hands as if to dissipate the words in the air. “He doesn’t do illegal fights.”

“He’d have plausible deniability,” Val says with a slight tilt of her head, then turns back to face Benny and hands him a business card. "Anyway, the choice is yours, Mr. Miller, not your friend’s. I don’t need an answer right now. Do take your time to think it over, sleep on it a bit. Once you’re a little more comfortable with the idea, give this number a call. I’ve got a feeling they’d very much like to bruise that pretty face of yours until it looks like a Monet.”

She gets up from the bench and walks out of the changing room without looking back. Benny slips the business card into his jacket pocket, something that catches Frankie’s attention.

“Don’t do it, Ben,” he sighs. “I’m serious. You could get arrested, get your ass thrown in jail. You’ll get kicked out of the army.”

“Stop whining, Fish. I’m not gonna do it anyway.”

Despite explicitly telling Frankie he wouldn’t do it, here he is, standing outside his local gym with his phone in one hand and the curious looking business card in the other. There’s not a lot of info on it, but, hey, what did he expect? That an illegal streetfighter would publish their own name, address and contact info on a bunch of business cards?

There are only two things printed on the grey little card: Nyx, which must be the fighter’s nickname or something, and a phone number. It’s been in his jacket pocket ever since he left his old high school, but it felt like it’s been burning a hole in it the entire time. It’s exactly as Val said it would be. He can’t get her proposition out of his mind, no matter how hard he tries.

She’s right about the competition. They’re no match for him, not the ones here in Red Feather Lakes. And, sure, he could always just sign up for something three towns over, but it wouldn’t matter much. How she found out he’s in the Delta Force is beyond him, though. It’s policy not to broadcast such a position if you want to stay in it. Maybe she has connections in the army…

That’s another thing; his place in the army. It would be gone as soon as he gets caught, and it’s not like he’s got great job prospects waiting for him back home when all he’s done for the past ten years is train to get where he is now. No college degree, no other jobs to list on his resume, no wealthy parents to fall back on… His whole life would go up in smoke.

But it does entice him. He technically does illegal things for his job all the time, and the matches he engages in when he has some down time aren’t really scratching that one particular itch anymore. Let’s face it: one phone call can’t hurt, right? He can still refuse, say no, put his foot down. Maybe even convince this guy to go legit.

He pushes the little green receiver on the screen, then puts his phone to his ear. The dial tone beeps three times before someone picks up. He opens his mouth to say something, but the person on the other side is quicker.

“Ben Miller, I presume?” It’s… a woman. But not Val. “Val told me you’d be giving me a call.”

“And you’re…” he quickly flips over the card just to be sure, “…Nyx, then?”

“Got it in one. I do so hate it when Val forgets to mention my name in the initial interview.”

Benny huffs out a confused laugh. “Interview?”

“You aced it, by the way. Not saying too much is best when talking with my… let’s call her my associate,” the woman says. Her voice is softer than Val’s, and a lot smoother. It sounds like what taking a sip of hot chocolate feels like. “Shall we get on with it and discuss the rules of this little arrangement?”

“I don’t-- rules? I haven’t even given you an answer.”

“Oh, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ve got any restraint left,” she chuckles. “You want to tell me you called just to say hello to a total stranger?”

“No, but-” Benny splutters, but he doesn’t get to finish his sentence.

“Then your answer, even if you haven’t given it to me yet, is as clear as the Pope’s Holy Water. Now then, the rules. In order to keep you in the warm, sunny, light side of the law, I’ll arrange a time and place. All you have to do is show up.”

He can’t help but grin. She’s clearly on top of this whole cloak and dagger operation, that much he can tell. Who she is, though, he can’t say. Not yet. Maybe he’ll recognize her when he sees her. “What about my gear?”

“Do take it with you, please. I’m not a charity, giving away free gear to any John, Charles or Mary.”

“All right,” he says, clicking his tongue. “Anything else?”

“Val will pick you up and get you back home safely, so don’t worry about the whole transport situation.”

“This doesn’t sound very... safe. I mean, you do realize this sounds a lot like kidnapping, right? Or murder, or something like that?”

The woman laughs. It sounds like the melody to a song he knows but has never heard at the same time. It’s the kind of laugh that makes everyone around laugh as well. “Why would I tell you all this and then still proceed with it if my intent was malicious? You can easily call the cops and have my dear Val arrested for whatever crime you think me capable of, and that wouldn’t be very good for my business.”

“Fair enough.”

“Speaking of Val, she’ll pick you up next Wednesday at nine.”

Benny kicks a piece of gravel onto the street next to him and swallows away the last of his pride and dignity. “All right, I guess I’ll see you then.”

“Good lord, I can’t believe Val forgot to tell you that, too,” she laughs again, then clears her throat and continues a lot more seriously. “I only dance in the dark. Have a good night, Mr. Miller.”

Usually, waiting takes ages, but not this time. For Benny the rest of the week practically flew by him and before he knows it, it’s already Wednesday. He went training with Frankie just like any other week, only this time he accidentally forgot to mention his fight with Nyx. He told himself that the less people know about his, uh, date, the better, but he also knows Frankie would have immediately pulled the plug.

Val arrives at nine o’clock sharp in the front seat of a cab, which is no surprise. The drive that follows doesn’t take very long; he also isn’t blindfolded or anything like they do in the movies. The car stops in front of an old warehouse in the east side of town, and that’s when Val turns around in her seat and very concisely tells him to get his ass out of her cab himself, since she’s not going to hold open the door for him.

Instead of driving off, Val simply pulls the keys from the ignition and tosses them to him, calling it his ‘insurance policy’. Then she waves her hand as if to tell him to hurry up and get inside, which he promptly does.

Well, that whole dancing in the dark reference seems to have been meant literally; as soon as the warehouse door closes behind him, an inky, suffocating darkness envelopes Benny and makes a shiver run up and down his spine. He takes a few tentative steps, holding out his arms and moving them around to make sure he doesn’t hit anything while he walks.

Suddenly, a voice calls out to him from a bit further into the sole, big room this warehouse seems to consist of.

“Good evening, Mr. Miller. Let’s get swinging, shall we?”

A/N: Hey there, you made it to the end! Thanks for reading through the whole thing, I hope you liked it. If you’ve got any suggestions or spotted a mistake or two, don’t hesitate to tell me so that I might fix it. I hope you’ll stick around for round two!

[graysongraysoff]

Been having a lot of really bad dreams lately.

This latest one started with me sitting in band class in high school. I was sitting between my friend Brice (who wasn't actually in band) and my friend Leah (who I'm pretty sure?? wasn't in band either, but whatever; dreams).

Leah was one of those friends where we were mainly friends because we'd been in the same homeroom since kindergarten, and I was expressing to Brice that she had been really mean to me the last time we talked and I didn't understand why. Leah heard the tail end of this conversation when she came to sit down and she explained:

According to her, I would just sit there and watch "bigoted shit" happen and not do anything about it. I would change my opinions based on whoever I was talking to rather than sticking by any principles, and I would turn around and shit-talk people who I claimed were my friends rather than standing up for them if someone started shit-talking about them to me. I always did whatever I could to get out of any physical work like cleaning the band room, and when I did get roped into doing it I half-assed it. I was lazy and spineless, essentially, which was why Leah had been so mean to me the last time we talked and why she now wanted nothing to do with me.

I tried to argue with her, because some of those things I just didn't think were true. Sure, I've always been more of a smile-and-nodder than someone who's going to get into fights with people who aren't going to listen to me anyway, but I don't think I'm the kind of person who would let someone talk shit about one of my friends. But the more I thought about it the more I was like "Maybe she's right. Maybe I am just lazy and spineless." All of the things she described sounded totally plausible based on my sort of "path of least resistance" personality. Maybe I had just watched some bigoted shit play out. Maybe I had let someone bitch to me about someone like Leah, who was a friend but not one of my closer ones. None of it seemed like that big of a stretch.

So of course now I wanted to know if what Leah said was true, if maybe she wasn't the only person at my high school who hated me. I started with an answer I knew I'd like, because I was feeling pretty sick and anxious after Leah read me for utter filth. I asked my mom. Unfortunately Mom was busy (as she always was) and even when I did get a hold of her she was distracted and not really listening to me, despite me literally crying to her. This would become a theme: every single person I wanted to talk to about my actions and behavior was otherwise occupied and not really listening to me. Some of them would even offhandedly agree that I was the worst without looking up from whatever they were doing.

Eventually I just had to come to terms with the fact that I was a shitty human being. I stopped talking to other people entirely and stopped showing up at school. And people seemed confused at best, but mostly didn't seem to care.

And hoo boy if that shit won't wake you up miserable!!!

[ladyofmaidensandwine]

Just One Dance

Requested by @rileynicole1967

Request: “so maybe you could do a one shot for deanxreader based off the song “can I have this dance” from High School Musical. so basically dean doesn’t do the whole dancing thing and the reader finally gets him to dance with her and she helps him and it’s so fluffy”

Absolutely, luv! Side bar, I’ve never seen these movies, but I gave the song a listen. Hopefully this is just as fluffy as you were wanting!

Characters: Dean Winchester, Fem! Reader, Sam Winchester

Pairing: Dean x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Excessive fluff, implied smut without detail.

Wordcount: 2,852

                 There are some things a hunter doesn’t get, and a normal, carefree night on the town is one of them. At least, it usually is. This particular Saturday you have no monsters to kill, no wounds to mend, and no research demanding to be done, and you practically beg Sam and Dean to come with you to a local pub promising good music, food, and beer.

             Maybe it’s slightly overdone, but you rarely have any occasion to dress so nicely, and as you look at your reflection, you have to smile. You admit to yourself you look beautiful, outfit the perfect color to compliment your complexion and your eyes, and comfortable so you have no qualms about dancing the night away, which you have every intention to do.

             You open the door to your room in the bunker, right across from Dean’s, and hear a low whistle that causes your cheeks to heat slightly. “I feel underdressed, sweetheart. You look gorgeous.” Dean says with that easy, charming smile. The bastard has you positively whipped, and he doesn’t even know it. “Well, one of us has to look good.” You tease, brushing off the compliment in favour of poking fun at your best friend. He chuckles, rolling his eyes fondly. “Yeah, whatever. C’mon, let’s get Sammy’s ugly mug and hit the road before all the good parking is gone.” Dean beckons. The casual way he rests his hand on your back has your heart doing acrobatics, and you thank whatever God is listening for the years spent mastering your perfect poker face when you show no outward reaction. 

             You’re not a bird that hangs off the arm of the first handsome man she sees. In fact, you have a sense of pride in the way you don’t fall for charm or suave lines and you’ve never been the type to go for a one-night-stand just because someone buys you a drink and throws you a smirk. Dean Winchester is the only exception to your impervious shield- a simple smile from him has you feeling faint, and it’s not just his looks that have made you fall for him. Dean has been your friend and confidante. He knows things about you not another soul is privy to, and the same applies to you. He protects you, but doesn’t underestimate your skill and ability as a hunter. He’s your hero, and if you had a bit more gall, maybe you’d finally tell him that.

            It’s a perfect night at the pub- not too crowded, but with enough background chatter to make an ambience like home. The first round is on you, as you’ve promised, and Dean watches you carefully as you head to the counter to order your drinks. Sam sits across from him, a smug and knowing smile on his face. “What?” Dean finally grumbles, raising a brow. Sam shrugs, but that grin only gets wider, Dean’s green eyes narrowing in annoyance. “It’s just funny,” Sam begins, fighting to maintain a nonchalant front while wanting to laugh at Dean, “you sitting here, watching her, Y/N standing there, looking back at you. Cute.” “Sam.” Dean says, tone sharp with a warning Sam promptly ignores. “Hey, if you have any plausible reasoning for me to believe you’re not smitten with her, now’s your chance to convince me.” Sam invites. Dean glowers at him from across the table, wishing you’d hurry up with those beers already, and Sam smirks, knowing he’s won. “That’s what I thought. Want my advice?” “Not really.” Dean mutters, rolling his eyes. God, where are you with the drinks, somebody save him. “Well, I’m gonna give it to you anyways. Stop being such a dumbass and go get your girl. At this point I won’t even complain if you snog her in front of me. Point is, Dean, you’ve got no rationale to not go after her.” Sam says pointedly. “I think you oughta just-”

                “Hey, sorry I took so bloody long!” You call, hurrying over with four longnecks in your hands, and Dean shoots Sam a smirk. Perfect timing as usual, thank God. “S’alright. Didn’t miss much.” Dean shrugs, sliding over so you can sit next to him in the booth. “Oh, good. I put in some song requests- DJ says this place is great for dancing.” You inform, smiling brightly. Dean instantly shoots upright, cutting you a narrow-eyed look full of suspicion. “Dancing?” He repeats, already smelling a scheme as you give him an innocent smile. “Wouldn’t you know it, this pub happens to be known ‘round here for the music? Coincidence, of course.” You say slyly. Dean shakes his head, unable to maintain his glare so he hides the smile pulling at his lips by taking a swig of his cold beer. “Coincidence. Yeah, ok. Y/N, for someone who lies for a living, you’re pretty shit at it.” Dean smirks, and you laugh, knowing he’s teasing. “Alright, so maybe I had a slight ulterior motive when I said we should come here tonight, but I promise it’ll be fun!” You say pleadingly, turning to Sam for back up. 

              “Don’t look at me! You’re on your own.” Sam proclaims, holding up his hands in surrender as you huff. “Fine! But you’re both dancing with me. I’m not settling for a ‘no’.” You assert. Dean chuckles, giving you an amused smile. “You can think that if you want, sweetheart. I don’t dance.” He says firmly. “What do you mean? You dance with me to your bloody cassettes in the garage all the time!” You demand, raising your brows. Sam laughs, nearly snorting beer out of his nose, and Dean flushes up to his ears. “Dean dances with you?” “Sam!” Dean growls, thoroughly embarrassed. “Oh, come off it, it’s not a big deal, you baby.” You scowl playfully. “No, Y/N, Dean doesn’t dance, ever. Makes you awfully special, huh, Dean?” “Shut your mouth, Sam.” Dean snaps, glaring at his brother indignantly. You’re at a loss, looking between the two in confusion. “Look, Y/N, you’ll have to settle for the less good-looking Winchester tonight. I don’t dance, ‘specially not here.” Dean says with a shrug of his broad shoulders. You smile, a mischievous look in your eyes, and he knows you’re nowhere near dropping the subject. 

             Three beers later, you’re out on the dancefloor, laughing at Sam’s awkward moves. Dean’s smiling, eyes glued to you. It’s rare he see’s you this happy and carefree, and you look so beautiful in the low light of the bar. The power could go out and your smile would light up the whole place. He hates admitting it, but Sam makes a valid point. There’s nothing stopping Dean from telling you how he feels about you besides his own paranoia, and even that is n shaky grounds. He’s not entirely oblivious. Dean knows there’s some unspoken thing between the two of you, and knows you feel it, too. But letting it lie as is and pursuing something more are two totally opposing ideas, and he’s getting tired of his head and his heart pulling him in different directions over you.

              You catch Dean’s eye, and leave Sam, grinning at Dean. “Come dance.” You say. He shakes his head, a small smile playing across his lips. “Told you, sweetheart. I don’t dance.” Dean claims, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans against the booth. He’s content where he is, just watching you, but you’re the most stubborn woman he’s ever met, and honestly, he should’ve known better because when do you ever take no for an answer? “Just one dance. Come on, even Sam is having fun.” You try to persuade him, Dean’s eyes flicking to his brother and back to you. “Y/N.” “Dean.” You mimic. You stare him down, eyes narrowed slightly. Dean almost laughs- he’s seen this face before, your shoulders back and spine tall. It’s the posture of a hunter, the determined face you make when you’re dealing with police giving you a hard time or a monster making threats. Now you’re using against your best friend to try and convince him to dance with you. “Please.” You pout, and he sighs. God, why are you so hard to say no to?

                    It’s a silly question because he knows exactly why you could ask for the moon wrapped in a bow and by God, he’d figure out how to give it to you because you have Dean Winchester completely at your mercy. “Dean, please, just one dance! That’s all I’m asking.” You practically beg, and he can feel himself breaking. “Sweetheart, I really don’t dance, not for anybody.” Dean tries. “Not even for me?” You ask him. Damn it. Damn you to hell, you’re good. That’s his weakness, you’re his weakness, and you’re using it to play him like a fiddle. Dean closes his eyes and his shoulders slump, and when he looks at you again, you’re beaming like you won the grand prize because you know you’ve got him. “One dance. Got it? Just one. And- and don’t expect no fancy shit, or nothin’.” He huffs, trying to maintain his grumpy facade. He doesn’t last a second because your mile-wide smile is even bigger as you take him by the hands and half-lead half-drag Dean onto the dancefloor.

                     Dean’s nervous as all-get-out. When was the last time he’s ever really danced, much less in front of people? “Just take my hand, Dean. C’mon, you killed three vampires just the other day and you’re telling me you’re nervous now?” You say, teasing him gently. “Yeah, well, vamps I can behead.” Dean mutters, earning a snort of laughter from you that makes his lips twitch up into a smile. “Just look at me, yeah? Just like in the garage.” You tell him. He nods, swallowing, and keeps his eyes locked on you, which really isn’t hard to do. Just as he eases into it, the faster-paced song transitions to a slow-dance, and he freezes, instantly panicking.

              You squeeze Dean’s hand comfortingly. “Dean, we can sit down, I’m only kidding, I didn’t mean to make you so uncomfortable.” You explain with a guilty frown. Here you are, trying to get the boys to relax, and instead poor Dean is looking at you like someone told him his impala is being towed. Dean stops you, shaking his head. “No. No, just, uh, don’t laugh at me. I haven’t done this in... well, ever.” He says gruffly. You smile fondly. Your knight in shining plaid is nervous you’ll tease him for being a clumsy dancer. “Promise I won’t laugh. Well, maybe a little.” You say, and Dean shoots you a glare that vanishes when you give him a cheesy grin. “You’re a dork.” He smirks. “Takes one to know one, Winchester.” You wink.

              “Dean, you’re stepping on me.” You tell him, biting your lip to stifle a laugh at the instant mortification on Dean’s face. “Shit, sorry!” “S’okay. You’re doing great. You are one in a million, Dean. Big, bad hunter, scared to dance with me.” You laugh softly. Dean huffs, and you smile. He’s slowly getting the hang of it, with your help, of course.

           “Hey, what was Sam talking about earlier?” You ask.  Dean falters, and you nearly trip, stumbling into his chest. You don’t know if you’re really standing still or if it only feels like time has halted, Dean’s green eyes staring into you. 

                        His eyes drop to your lips. You’re not sure you’re breathing. 

     “Sam doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Dean says after a long moment. His eyes dart away, and you frown slightly. “That’s not what I asked you.” “Y/N.” He says intently, hoping you’ll drop the subject, because the direction the conversation is going, Dean is going to be forced to make the decision he’s been putting off for so many years. “Dean.” You echo, just as firmly, not letting him escape your gaze. Dean steps back slightly, and you realize the song is over. You let go of Dean’s hands, disappointment and embarrassment washing over you. “Thanks for the dance.” You say, trying to hide your sadness.

               You make it all of three steps before Dean reaches out for you. “Hey, Y/N, wait.” He says quickly, hand grabbing yours. “What?” “Can I have this dance?” “You don’t dance.” You say, confused. He looks at you for a long moment, a smile slowly forming on his face. “No,” Dean agrees, holding your gaze with his, “but you do. So?” “So what?” “So, can I have this dance?” Dean repeats. You nod, and he leads you back out. It’s another slow song, and Dean pulls you a little closer than before, staring at you intensely.

           “What?” You ask, quirking a brow. “Can I ask you something?” “Ok?” You agree hesitantly. “Why do you always sit next to me in the booths?” Dean asks. You swear you can your heart plummet like a lead weight. “What?” “Yeah. How come you always share with me when we have to bunk up because there’s only two beds in motels? And how come you wanted to dance with me so bad?” He presses. “I- well, I-” You stammer, absolutely thrown for a loop, and he smiles briefly. “See, ‘cause, I’ve got this theory that the answer to that is sorta like the answer to the question you asked me earlier.” He continues, confusion and dread creeping up on you. “Dean, listen, we don’t have to talk about it-” “I think we do. I want to. Here’s the thing, Y/N. I don’t dance.” “Then why are you-?” You trail off. “Because you asked me to. And I can’t say no to you. What Sam said, earlier- you are.” He says, ducking his head. “I am what?” You frown. “Awfully special. To- to me.” Dean says quietly, blushing, and suddenly it makes sense. “Oh.” “Oh? That’s all you’re gonna say? I tell you I have feelings for you, and all I get is ‘oh’?” Dean asks, blinking in disbelief. He looks like he’s about to bolt, so you lean up and before he can make another smartass comment, you press your lips softly to his. 

                 “Oh.” Dean breathes, staring at you. You smile, and he grins, and both of you laugh, not caring if anyone is looking. “Man, we’re a couple’a real idiots, huh?” Dean chuckles. “If I knew this is how it would end up, I would’ve asked you to dance with me a long time ago.” You tease, earning yourself another brief kiss. “I’ll dance with you all you want, sweetheart.” Dean says with a warmth in his eyes you’ve seen a thousand times before but never knew the reasoning for. You laugh as Dean twirls you, ducking under his arm with a bright smile he can’t help but return.

              At some point you vaguely recall Dean promising to show you the rest of his dance moves in private, and you stealing the keys to Baby from his back pocket. You’re not sure how you managed to make it safely back to the bunker, and you definitely forgot to bring Sam, but you and Dean had spent years pining after one another and weren’t about to waste another night.

              You smile, looking over your shoulder to find a familiar freckled and scruffy face pressed against your pillow. Dean’s still asleep, his arm a solid and warm weight over your bare waist, his chest firm against your back. His dark blond hair is a mess from you running your fingers through it, and you don’t want to know how your own hair looks, but you really don’t even care. You scramble for the sheets as the door knob turns. Sam gives you the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen, and the urge to fling a shoe at him is strong. “Y’know, when I told you to do something about your puppy love for Dean, I didn’t exactly mean ditch me at the pub to go sleep with him.” Sam says with a wiggle of his brows. Your face feels hot. “Sam.” You whisper warningly. “I told you he liked you.” Sam says. “Go. Away.” You whisper, glaring. Sam snickers. “You owe me, Y/N, we shook on it.” “As I recall, you said he wouldn’t dance with me, so you pay up, Sam.” You retort. Sam scoffs, and you glare even harder. “Sammy, shut up and leave us alone.” Dean’s sleepy voice grumbles, his eyes not even open as he blindly flips his brother off. Dean waits for the door to close and Sam’s footsteps to retreat down the hall before he finally looks at you.

             “Jesus, thought he’d never leave.” Dean mutters. You grin, and Dean gives you a devious smirk, planting a kiss on your neck. “Dean!” You laugh. “Who says I was done with you? Sam can handle a few hours without us, and I’ve got you all to myself.” Dean says, and you don’t bother pretending to be mad when his lips meet yours, feeling him smile.

          Who knew all it would take to finally get you and Dean together was one dance?

TAGS-

Forever Tags-

@justagirlinafandomworld

Dean Babes-

@herstarburststories

SPN Pond-

@spnfanficpond

[enbeemagical]

Any hc about our sparkly elf, Aaravos?

If not him, Runaan and Ethari?

OHHHH YES

OH YES INDEEDY

you see, I rp Aaravos, which means he likes to talk in my head even when I would rather he shut up so I can go to sleep. And he has Lots Of Opinions. Occasionally I learn things he’d rather I not know, and that’s where I build from.

okay! Headcanons!!

Due to his experiences, Aaravos doesn’t just hate Avizandum, he’s actually dracophobic. 

He’s aroallo-- aromantic and allosexual (pan, usually). (I’m not entirely certain if I show that well in my rp, since Aaravos is so different from me. We’re both arospec, so that probably helps, but he’s allo and I’m ace and the blog is SFW, so idk anything lmao)

Yeah, Aaravos is good at flirting, but it’s never anything serious, you know? Flirting =/= attraction, and in fact flirting = no attraction. He’ll flirt with anything and anyone, but when he flusters and doesn’t quite know what to say, when he cuts the nicknames and teasing? That’s when you know he’s fallen.

Nicknames are just how he talks. He doesn’t bother remembering names unless they’re important to him. He’s sort of like Diana Wynne Jones’s Chrestomanci/Christopher Chant in that, except instead of calling Mr. Baslam “Mr. Bislow” he’d call him “dark mage.” He’ll use nicknames anytime on anyone, but name-names are only for people he respects/cares about. So he might call the dragon king “Avizandum,” because as much as he hates him, Avizandum imprisoned him, and  Aaravos can’t help but respect the power it took to imprison him, an Archmage. (I still haven’t convinced him to call Amaya by her name, even though he says he respects her. Wait a sec--)

Revised nickname headcanon: He uses names when he feels close to someone. Not just respect, though that has something to do with it. Names aren’t something he takes lightly. 

Okay, this got long, so there are two dozen more headcanons under the cut. They’re just in the order I thought of them, so they kind of jump around a bit, sorry. Angst and fluff.

Aaravos is basically a faerie. Not fairy like Tinkerbell; faerie like the high fae, like Oberon, Titania, and Puck. He’s extremely powerful, ethereally beautiful (though not all fae are), and he’s very careful with his wording.

Either Aaravos can lie and simply doesn’t, or he cannot lie and doesn’t want that to be known. (I choose to ignore the option of “he was lying when he said he never lies” because that hurts my brain.) “I’m not lying. I never lie.” Never, not cannot, which. Details, details.

He was betrayed. He ended up in the mirror because he was betrayed. They drugged him to seal away his magic so Avizandum could imprison him. I have several scenes of this in my head, but @alls-fair-in-pride-and-prejudice and I are using this is TSATS so I don’t want to give too much more away.

Ziard was Aaravos’s apprentice. They were kind of like Halt and Will in Ranger’s Apprentice. Only they invented dark magic together and Halt and Will didn’t use magic.

Dark magic causes nightmares until you learn it, if you don’t have training. Aaravos’s nightmares? The other Startouch elves leaving.

He’s afraid of being alone. He used to like it, spending hours and days and weeks alone with his books quite happily. But after he literally could not interact with anyone for three hundred years, he’d break if he had to be alone again.

He actually did break during those centuries. Multiple times. Screaming, crying, throwing things, trying to break things, windows, the mirror, anything. Even himself.

They’re antlers, not horns. Horns are one point, you get one (1) set for life, like adult teeth. Antlers have branches, and you get a new set every year. Aaravos... has feelings about this. 

Startouch elves spoke like a Shakespeare play. This one’s kind of silly, and entirely based around the line, “Yes, it’s well appointed, but make no mistake, this has been my prison these past few centuries!” and me thinking that “well appointed” sounded very Shakespearean and he could just as well have said “Yes, it’s quite nice, but make no mistake” etcetera (and a bit that I keep wanting to write “thou” when writing him lately). Anyway. Moving on.

Aaravos is a good animal trainer. He’s got the patience for it, and he’s smart. He’s probably trained lots of animals, of many different species. Clicker training, probably; definitely primarily positive reinforcement.

The horse? Is not a horse. It’s a couch. (I only go in for this one because I love the image of Aaravos jumping around on his couch like a little kid, draping himself all over the room. Funnily enough, how he rides is entirely plausible, given that I’m not even drinking age and I can ride my horse very similarly to how Aaravos rides. He’s millennia older than me; he could absolutely ride like that.)

Aaravos killed Queen Aditi and Queen Luna Tenebris. That’s a big reason why he was imprisoned. Yeah, the dark magic was part of it, but Ziard lived 1,000 years ago and Aaravos was only imprisoned 300 years ago. Either he managed to evade the authorities for 700 years, or something else was the tipping point. Maybe a bit of both.

Aaravos has killed a lot of people, for various reasons. Sometimes for revenge (I’d like to think Aditi killed Ziard, which is why Aaravos went after her), sometimes just for being in his way (he discarded the poor Sunfire priest way too casually).

If he really cares about someone, he will kill for them? Die for them? Nah, not really, he’d have to be absolutely crazily stupid with love for that. Kill for them? Absolutely, any day.

Oh and he does the murderously protective thing where he’s like, “Oh, and if anyone hurts you do let me know. I will be happy to talk to them about that. 💖🔪😇 ”

He doesn’t like children. Like, there are a few he cares about, but by and large he’s like “children? ugh, no, yuck.”

He doesn’t fall in love easily, but when he does, he is in love. Period, fullstop.

For all his flirting and teasing, he knows how to respect no. I mean. Look at Xadia’s culture. Being queer is a total nonissue, women are actually treated as equal to men. Sure, it’s not perfect, but it’s hella better than here. Aaravos grew up in Xadia. He’s gonna respect people as people. Will he flirt insanely with everyone, whether they’re into him or not? Yeah. If he talks, he flirts. Will he make a move on someone who doesn’t want him to? No.

He loves cats. Need I say more?

He didn’t get any kind of trial, no chance to defend himself, to tell his side of the story. He was just betrayed and imprisoned.

Aaravos’s arrogance and vanity is a cover over some major self-esteem issues. Maybe he didn’t always have those, but during his imprisonment there were times he believed that he deserved it. That he was a monster, a soulless demon (like they said he was), and he didn’t deserve freedom. That he had no heart, that all he could do was hurt people, and anytime he tried to help he only ended up hurting more. Destruction and tragedy was all he could bring. He’d try not to believe that, forcing himself to remember good things he’d done, telling himself over and over again that he can help people he’s not a monster he’s not-- and he just. can’t. because he’s tried to help, yes, he saved Elarion and he killed for those he loved, but he killed, and not always to protect, and he even enjoyed it. He knows he’s done bad things, but he enjoyed them. Maybe he did deserve to be put in here, alone. Because if he deserved it, maybe when he’s suffered enough to atone he can be free, but if he was truly unjustly imprisoned then there will be no freedom. And this doesn’t make sense, and he knows it’s illogical, so he pulls on a mask of pride and confidence, hoping ‘fake it til you make it’ will work eventually, but underneath. Aaravos. Is. Broken.

Aaravos likes humans in general more than elves in general. They tend to be less judgey at him and they look up to him. Nice ego boost there, the admiration.

He also likes animals, especially now. They don’t judge him based on any criteria a human, elf, or dragon might use. They just care how he personally treats them specifically, and he’s good to them so they love him. They don’t ask anything more of him than that, no relentless demands on his time, and they can just happily coexist in companionable silence. Humans tend to be less good at that.

His favorite fiction books are romance novels. He does like the different ones, the cliche-benders that turn tropes on their heads, but sometimes there’s nothing like curling up with a cheesy, predictable, well-loved story and a cup of hot chocolate.

So, anon, this live up to your expectations?

[miraculouscontent]

(non-ml asks)

Anonymous said:

So the Pokémon anniversary a couple of weeks back showed two very different takes in the future of Pokémon. What are your thoughts on the Sinnoh remakes and Legends Arceus?

I really hate the Sinnoh remakes. It’s not that I hate the chibi style (I mean, Pokemon started that way), but like--remake the game but just make it “the 2D game but 3D”???? Why? And it feels disrespectful because every other remake has used the style of the other games they were in (so FRLG looked like RSE, HGSS looked like DPPt, ORAS looked like XY, and most of the time, the remakes looked outright better than the style they were based on). It’s a shame because I really wanted to see an improvement from Sword and Shield, which didn’t engage/interest me and... I don’t know if this will make total sense, but instead of an upgrade from Sun & Moon, it feels like an upgrade of XY? Like, XY’s problems but with better proportions.

I’m cautiously optimistic for Legends Arceus, if only because, “YES, AN ACTUALLY SINGLE GAME INSTEAD OF THE DUAL STUFF THEY KEEP PULLING” (which was absolutely unacceptable when they got to console stuff). I actually didn’t notice the framedrop issues because I’m used to running games on a laptop that clearly isn’t made for them, so I’m sort of immune to it. I haven’t decided if I’ll get it for sure but the premise intrigues me and I really like Arceus.

Anonymous said:

How is Moroha the Marinette of Inuyasha?

- needlessly tormented by the narrative

- things that other people do to her don’t get addressed

- people closest to her are usually awful

- awesomely overpowered yet narrative will constantly have her screw up and put her down/make her feel worthless

- gets sidelined/ignored in favor of other characters

Anonymous said:

In one of your Askplosions(don't remember which one, sorry), you said that you can't stand the Tomboy Lesbian stereotype, which, to be honest, I kind of agree with. But what about Tomboy Bisexual? I guess it's not as bad if a female character's tomboyishness/girlishness isn't used as a clue as to her sexuality(like "you know she's a lesbian because she's BUTCH!!!"), but there aren't really stereotypes associated with being bi that are based in masculinity or femininity(due to bi erasure sadly.).

kfdngjdfgd I like how you had to had that bis don’t easily get stereotypes as much due to bi erasure because you’re absolutely right.

“Tombis” are fine, I have no problem with them. Any stereotype to avoid then are just the general bi stereotypes.

Anonymous said:

I was just reading TV Tropes' page for "Gratuitous Princess" and holy shit the sexism on display here is really nauseating. It's exactly like "Improbably Female Cast"(there are too many female characters here and it's uncalled for, despite it being okay for characters to predominantly be men), in that it's basically insulting any story that has anything to do with princesses at all by saying it "isn't needed". TV Tropes has always had a way of including underhanded sexism when talking about female-dominated/aimed works or tropes having to do with female characters or anything designed to appeal to female audiences; the more feminine, the more ridiculed it is by TV Tropes, despite claiming to believe otherwise.

Similar to how I complained about their "Improbably Female Cast" trope, Gratuitous Princess claims that stories with "more princesses than is plausible for the setting" are this trope because any abundance of princesses is somehow bad or doesn't make sense, even if it would make sense for there to be that many princesses/all the characters to be princesses.

For example, they claim that an entire school of princesses is implausible and "gratuitous", but if the school is intentionally meant to be a "royal" school for girls to learn to be princesses(whether or not they were actually born into royalty), then it's not actually gratuitous and makes sense within the setting! If the story follows a monarchy, it makes sense to have lots of princesses, especially if it's aimed at young girls.

If the main characters are a group of normal girls who wish they were princesses and the story follows "fantastical" versions of their imaginary princess selves, then that also makes sense, especially if the story has "every girl can be a princess" as their moral or something. There's nothing wrong with stories like that, but TV Tropes claims they're unnecessary because anything involving princesses(stuff little girls like) are automatically shoehorned in.

Just look at the examples, which are all written in an unnecessarily derogatory way, with statements such as "for some reason, she's called a princess", or "the rulers should be queens, and yet they're princesses"(when it COULD just be a principality; do your research, TV Tropes), or "how this has anything to do with princessing is never explained", as if the mere fact that she's a princess is something bad or worthy of scorn.

They even claim Sailor Moon is this trope when Naoko Takeuchi simply wanted the story to revolve around a group of girls who just so happened to be reincarnated princesses who ruled over their respective planet. It's supposed to be a girl power wish fulfillment fantasy that appeals teenage girls by showing all the girly things they like as implements of power!

And yet TV Tropes disses it for just that, because anything that's made to appeal to girls can't ever make sense. Now, if they were complaining about how, in aggregate, shows about princesses or in which every female character is a princess can reinforce the notion that the only way for a female character to be noteworthy in any way is if she's a princess, then that would be different, but that's not what's happening. They're dissing princess stories just for existing. No matter what, TV Tropes always finds something bad to say about female-driven storylines.

Always. Just look at their page for "Most Fanfic Writers Are Girls", "Pony Tale", and "Frills of Justice". There's always a mean-spirited undertone, as if they hate the very idea of these stories and narrative devices existing just because they're designed to appeal to little girls. I'm not saying you're never allowed to critique those stories the way you would any other, it's just the WAY TV Tropes does it. They're not critiquing, they're sarcastically mocking. They're going about it all wrong! And it's especially obvious when they never do it to boys' shows, even though those shows often do have messages that can actually be harmful and even ignore or objectify women. But I guess the latter is why they don't care. Boys will be boys, am I right?

Oh joy, internalized/intentional misogyny!

Ugh, I’ve been lucky enough to stay away from those articles on TV Tropes. I hate it when opinions clearly start seeping into the article.

For example, “Kiss Your Hand” (I think that’s the name) sums up the whole “hand kissing” thing and goes into detail about how nowadays it’s considered more uncomfortable/creepy, which isn’t necessarily an opinion but just detailing how the times have changed.

AND JUST LET US FEMALES HAVE GIRL SHOWS WITHOUT MAKING BACKHANDED COMMENTS.

It’s the same thing with stuff like “chick flicks,” y’know? Maybe it’s just been having to hang out with my father and hearing him make dumb blond jokes and talks about how chick flicks are boring/bad but UGH, I’m sick of it.

Anonymous said:

Hi, so I was thinking about what you said about how there aren't words for guys who act either masculine or feminine, and I agree, it's totally unfair, but technically feminine boys are called janegirls(or femboys, I don't know if that's specifically an LGBTQ+ term or not, so excuse me if it is, but I've heard it used this way before), or tomgirls(even though last time I checked, the term "tomgirl" referred to either a girly tomboy or a tomboyish girly girl, but I digress).

As for masculine guys, I'm not so sure there's a term for it, I guess since deviation from masculinity is less acceptable for men than deviation from femininity is for women(because, you know, femininity=lesser. ;(), although there IS the term "macho"...but that tends to be used in a derogatory sense nowadays. I've also heard "boys' boy", "manly man", etc. TV Tropes has a trope called "Sensitive Guy and Manly Man" as the male counterpart to Tomboy and Girly Girl. So I guess there are terms.

I also just wanted to add that the term "tomboy" technically was originally a male phrase to describe a young boy who was boisterous, loud, mischievous, and out-of-control; in other words, a misbehaved, trouble kid. I don't know how or when it got attributed to girls, I think there was the term tomgirl at one point(though now it's just used for an in-between type of girl), but even that is barely used anymore. Not sure where or when the term "girly girl" came about, though, sorry to say. ;(

Yeah, that’s true. I’ve honestly never heard the term “janegirls” before, but I’d prefer if a ““��masculine”““ girl was just called “tomgirl” instead. It feels less like “girl acting like a boy” and--yeah, calling a girl one thing or another just makes it look like they’re “““different”““ from “““normal girls”““ and I just roll my eyes.

Anonymous said:

Hi, I know the post you're talking about(in your fourth non-ml Askplosion) about a boy who related more to female characters! It was on BoredPanda and it was by Damian Alexander(it can also be found on his official Tumblr), and it was called "Guy Illustrates How Boys Develop Sexism From Seemingly Small Interactions With Adults" and it was all about how he loved female characters like Matilda, Alice, Mulan, Dorothy, Anne of Green Gables, and The Powerpuff Girls, and was routinely made fun of and discouraged from liking them, even from the teacher, who assigned everybody a paper(I mean not really they were probably in pre/elementary school but whatevs) about a fictional character they looked up to, but wouldn't let Damian write about Matilda, even though she let girls write about Spiderman, Harry Potter, and Peter Pan. And he basically talked about how this kind of societal attitude conditions boys to see girls as inferior and not worthy of being looked up to. It's really interesting.

Thank you! Now people can maybe go read it~

Anonymous said:

So you talked about how shows for women are considered lame and overdramatic, while shows for men are allowed to sexualize women and still be seen as good because they're MANLY, and it just reminded me of how TV Tropes has a page called "So You Want To Write A Shonen Series" and one of their points was literally that since teenage boys are horny, they'll relate to a male lead that pervs on girls and peeps on them dressing, but that you shouldn't have the girl be aware or actually hit the boy, because that has Unfortunate Implications. What were those Unfortunate Implications according to TV Tropes, you ask? Double Standard Abuse: Female-on-Male. Wow. So basically they're saying it's perfectly okay for a boy to sexually harass a girl and show absolutely no respect for her privacy because it's what "all" teenage boys want to see/do, but the second a girl actually defends her agency it's a bad thing, and they have the NERVE to say it's sexist against BOYS on top of that. Ugh. I just...

S...sexist against boys...

I can’t--I just--

Also, cue the girl punching/hitting and then the girl is immediately considering “aggressive” for defending herself from being perved on, and even if people say that the girl didn’t deserve to be perved on, they’ll be like, “bUT SHE DIDN’T HAVE TO GO tHaT fAr.”

Anonymous said:

I just realized something: the term "uncanny valley" literally comes from the Japanese words "bukimi no tani", meaning we LITERALLY wouldn't have the English term without the Japanese one. So, yeah, tropers can shut the fuck up now about tropes having Japanese names because "no one will know what it means!". -_-

These people DO know that words in the English language are compromised/inspired by a bunch of other languages, right???

eggchjf said:

someone probably pointed this out but ALSO not only does Marinette have Homura's VA, but Alya is voiced by Mami's VA (Carrie Keranen)

why did you have to ruin everything for me

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh

Anonymous said:

Hi, I'm the Madoka salt anon. And I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for bombarding you with all those asks. I didn't mean to be a "monster", I guess I just got carried away because, let's face it: there aren't a lot of people who dislike this show. Almost everyone glorifies this show as feminist empowerment while dismissing other Magical Girl shows as lesser than or somehow less feminist despite being written by women for women. These people won't give female authors the time of day and so when a man shows up suddenly they jump on the Magical Girl Fan bandwagon and praise it for doing what the genre has already done.

And when you do hear a different opinion, that person gets told off, insulted, blocked, downvoted, whatever because how dare you hate this show written by men for men rather than the stuff written by women for women? I once saw someone on Quora ask why Madoka was so popular when all it did was use the cliche "time loops" concept in so many other plots, and the response was literally "You didn’t know what you were looking at, so mistook your opinion for relevant commentary."

Let that sink in. If you don't agree with people who like Madoka Magica, it's because you're simply too dumb to understand how deep and complex it is, and your opinion doesn't matter. I've also heard the similar "You have no idea what you just watched" or "You're not smart enough to understand it" or "It's too complicated for you" nonsense and I hate it. Because most of what Madoka does isn't even that twisted or hard to understand; it's relatively simple when you look at it. The show just makes it dark. Monsters stealing energy from teenage girls? Sailor Moon did that and did it better(and didn't just go after teenage girls/women, so it wasn't based off sexism and "teenage girls are hysterical"). Hardships of being a magical girl? Girls uniting against evil? Female friendships/romance? So many other Magical Girl shows did that, too.

Come to think of it, Madoka Magica didn't even have the girls fight back against the system because only Madoka found a way out and purified the girls souls? Girl realizes she's been going about being a hero the wrong way and is confronted with her own selfishness? Look at Utena, which mastered this much more skillfully. Magical girl gets in a love triangle with another girl, vies for the affection of a fragile white-haired boy, and loses? Princess Tutu, except that the other girl was also a Magical Girl, they became friends and actually rebelled against the system together, and Ahiru(aka Princess Tutu) didn't fall into the pit of despair because girls should be punished for their sexualities and compete against each other for men and if a guy doesn't like you, you're worthless.

Even the whole "these girls are liches" thing wasn't very complex and well-handled as a lot of people like to think: the gems are called Soul Gems because your soul is in a gem. Wow. So clever. And they're Grief Seeds because they're seeds released from grievous witches. Also(not) clever. Even the fact that the acronyms are reversed(SG, GS) because Magical Girls turn into witches just made me go "yawn, I get it".

The whole show is just very lazily done and designed and tries too hard to be scary and deep and complex and "not like those other Magical Girl shows" while also trying too hard to make the girls super cute but also super badass so that we both are led to think it's a traditional Magical Girl show AND feel bad when these girls die because whoops they weren't so strong and badass after all!

Not to mention the whole "Magical Girls become witches just like how girls become women" thing really pisses me off because it shits on the whole coming-of-age aspect of Magical Girl as well(strong girls embracing their agency as they prepare to enter womanhood) by instead demonizing the very concept so that "becoming a woman" is a bad, vile, horrible thing(because being a woman makes you "more powerful", so the more powerful a woman is, the more mentally unstable she is) and then topping it off by having Madoka save the girls from becoming witches, aka women, making sure they never achieve a more mature state and maintain a level of childlike naivete.

It has so many misogynistic themes and concepts(girls are emotional, girls are weak-willed, girls are impressionable, girls shouldn't be selfish, girls shouldn't try to be heroes, girls should be pit against each other especially over a guy, girls shouldn't achieve power or become women, and more, and more, and more), that are stated matter-of-factly within the story and always proven right by the narrative, and yet people gobble it up and anytime somebody points it out, they are met with utter hostility.

Some people even defend it by saying those things are true! People only like Madoka because it's written by a man and depicts women suffering, in a genre written by women and meant to empower girls, which they don't like. And also because anything a man writes is automatically deeper and more valid than anything a woman writes.

So that's why when I found out that you didn't like Madoka either I was more than happy to discuss it with you, but I realize now that I was going overboard. I was just so happy that there was someone who agreed with me and actually understood what I was trying to say and found it problematic, and the fact that you say you're not that well-versed in Magical Girl proves my point even more because you don't even have to watch much Magical Girl to know that this is fucked up.

If you want me to stop sending Madoka salt asks, then fine. I'll stop. I didn't mean to bother you with these asks, I just wanted to see your point of view on Madoka Magica when everybody else is singing its praises left and right and never stopping once to actually think about it(while also claiming that people who don't like it are the ones "not thinking".). Hearing someone who's actually critical of this nonsense show is refreshing.

Firstly thank you for the ask! It’s honestly not your fault, I’ve just been struggling a bit lately with ask overloads.

That doesn’t necessarily mean I want you to stop, but I’d rather discuss it over Tumblr DMs so things are more balanced. Walls of text can be a little overwhelming for me (that’s why sometimes I try to balance my own walls of text with screenshots).

Anonymous said:

I've been thinking of how much I hate the misogyny in Puella Magi Madoka Magica, so I decided that instead of just salting about it(even though I still do from time to time because they're legitimate critiques and boy is it fun), I'm going to start talking about what I would do to improve it. Now doing this may mean it won't be the "dark" anime many people have wanted it to be, but I've been thinking of it for a while and it's my personal opinion, so let's get to it:

First, I would still have the Incubators, though they would probably have a different name because the name "Incubator" is pretty skeevy and part of a lot of the misogyny in the show. They would still recruit magical girls(who are called "Puellae Magi" in-universe, at least in the English dub and possibly some other dubs as well), only they do it for a different reason: Incubators go after teenage girls who are leading rough, difficult lives, and the magical girl contracts help them to improve their lives and give them a reason to live. They still make wishes, but the wishes don't screw them over because of their secret "selfishness".

However, if a potential magical girl is unclear or unsure of what she truly wishes for, this may lead things to go haywire. Basically, the whole magical girl thing is more heartwarming and the Incubators truly want to help the ladies in need, not just leech off of them. There's also no Soul Gems, or at least, their souls aren't actually in the Gems. They're called such because the Gems are powered by their Souls, and rather than the girls losing consciousness and "dying" when their Gems are too far apart from them, they simply lose their ability to perform magic and their magic becomes weaker. They still have stronger bodies though, much stronger than average humans, because becoming a magical girl gives them super strength/speed/stamina and all that, just WITHOUT making them liches.

Their Gems are non-interchangeable, so you can only use your own, not another girl's. As for the witches, they still exist, but witches weren't the intention of the Incubators; they're due to a botched experiment and it's up to magical girls to not only fight and defeat them, but return them to their original selves, thus showing that hope always does triumph over despair. I would also have the magical girls fight not only witches, but ordinary criminals as well, because having them fight only witches gets a little boring and predictable.

And finally, while there would still be only teenage girls who are chosen to become magical girls, it wouldn't be because they're "the most emotional" or some Hysterical Woman shit like that. It would be something more empowering, like, maybe only teenage girls are chosen because they're the most capable of magic and are simply more powerful magically than everyone else. They would still have their powers as adult women, but you have to be a teenage girl(well, one with a difficult/horrible life) to be recruited in the first place, if that makes sense.

And maybe older magical girls(well, women) would be able to mentor and assist younger ones(which is very much in-line with the coming of age themes present in magical girl, women supporting and uplifting younger girls as they advance into womanhood). This would make the claim that women such as Anne Frank, Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, and Queen Himiko were magical girls less...iffy, but I still wouldn't make it so that ALL influential women were magical girls, nor that humanity would be in caves without the Incubators. There'd also be transformation/detrasformation phrases of course.

In short, the magical girl system exists more so as a form of wish fulfillment, both in and out of universe, since it's for teenage girls with rough lives who are "empowered" by becoming magical girls and getting to live out a fantasy of fighting crime while looking pretty, as an exchange for getting a wish fulfilled that will help them improve their lives. Only teenage girls have this ability because they're the strongest magic users, not because of "female hysteria". In other words, the magical girl system exists to support and benefit the girls, rather than exploit them.

Now, since I mainly went over the magical girl system itself, I'll talk about the characters. Kyoko still loves to eat, is still relatively selfish, and still has discord with Sayaka, but they overcome it and become friends MUCH sooner and in a much more natural way. Mami and Kyoko's relationship will actually be stated in-universe, not just in some side material. Sayaka still has a crush on her male friend, but confesses to him before Hitomi does. At this point, he either says yes and they hit it off but eventually don't work out and decide they'd be better as friends, or he says no and she's sad but perfectly fine with that, and encourages Hitomi to go after Kyousuke. Hitomi may do it if Kyousuke turns down Sayaka, or she may feel bad about going after him after her best friend just got turned down, especially if she's worried about getting turned down herself, since Sayaka has known him far longer so she has even less of a chance, right? If Hitomi does confess, Kyousuke WILL say yes, but because his arm was healed due to Sayaka's wish, he's more concerned about playing the violin than spending time with his alleged girlfriend and they eventually fall out. This is keeping in line with Gen's claim that Kyousuke isn't a good match for either of the two girls. Though they may get together in the future.

As for Sayaka...well, she gets with Kyoko and it's actually made CANONICAL in-universe. I don't know about Madoka and Homura though, if she's less possessive of Madoka than she was in canon then perhaps she has a shot. Either way, I would really love if the ships were actually canon and not just queerbaiting. Regardless, Sayaka and Hitomi stay friends. Also, on a meta level, I would really love it if there were more female writers on Madoka Magica, and that the show was targeted towards a female viewing audience, which would mean toning down the fanservice(if not removing it entirely), as well as the troublesome aspects, as I've talked about earlier. And no "torturing young innocent girls and restricting their agency" since that's not what the magical girl genre is about and it never has been. This probably means more episodes though. Anyway, there's probably more stuff I'm forgetting, but to sum it up, this is how I would fix Madoka Magica. What do you think?

I think it’s a really good idea!!! Refreshing~ You know I’m all about fix-its.

Plus, all I heard was “Madoka Magica without being edgy” and I’m like, “yes please, I’m here for it.”

Anonymous said:

About Improbably Female Cast, it has come to my attention that Madoka Magica has been removed from the list. Someone in the discussion section of the trope removed it saying that since it's a magical GIRL show, it having a majority female cast isn't "improbable". The Touhou example is still there, though, because there's apparently something wrong with stories that have less men than women or have next to no men in them. Because a prominent male character is a requirement to tell a good story.

They also removed Strawberry Panic! because it takes place in an all girls' school, and Y: The Last Man, because it takes place in a futuristic world where almost all the men died. But still, the fact that those examples were there at all speaks volumes about the double standard there at TV Tropes. Even if the story has a realistic and plausible reason for the setting to be mostly female, as the examples above are, TV Tropes still considered them improbable. It's as if TV Tropes doesn't just dislike/question stories about a mostly female cast when it doesn't "have" to be, they dislike/question majority female casts in GENERAL! And the closest they have to a Spear Counterpart is Cast Full of Pretty Boys, which is a totally different trope: a cast in which most of the characters are "bishounen" aka pretty boys, because it appeals to a female demographic.

So it's "justified" but female casts aren't. And the playing with section reeks of "Stay in The Kitchen" sexism, with statements can be okay or even exist is if it's a harem or exists to titillate men who crave girl-on-girl interaction(and in fact, the main page lists this as their FIRST reason such a cast would exist, appealing to little girls and/or queer women is secondary/tertiary in their eyes), and the situations they propose in which the trope could be played with almost all involve the few boys attempting to hook up with as many women as possible or manipulating the women to fall in love with them, with the so-called justification that "the viewers just like their lesbians". And almost all their quotes(same on the Playing With page) are about people whining and complaining that the cast has too many girls in it. The Image Links section even has a link to a picture of two boys griping and bleating about the lack of boys in whatever show they're watching("They don't appeal to our demographic!" "Why are there no boys in our story?"), which TV Tropes has the nerve to call a "witty observation".

But what pisses me off even more is the fact that a predominantly female cast even NEEDS a justification in the first place. They only pulled specific examples of shows that supposedly dictated that the cast MUST be mainly female: Magical Girl shows, all-girls school settings, stories in which the entirety of men were killed off...only in extreme circumstances can you "resort" to using female characters but if the situation was reversed, the male equivalent wouldn't be considered improbable to BEGIN WITH. And this is despite the fact that the discussion page is FULL of people saying the trope should be renamed because of sexism, detailing many things I'm detailing right now, to the point where it's even gone off TV Tropes and is right here on Tumblr itself(one troper called it "PC whining", just ugh)! I just wish TV Tropes would realize the inherent sexism in calling such a cast improbable, since it makes it look like they're unhappy with the representation. Then again, they might be.

I’VE NOTICED THAT TOO, YEAH.

show: *has predominately female cast*

people: oKaY I guess that makes sense bUT ONlY BECAUSE--

And because misogyny isn’t as widely discouraged as... example, people would be absolutely crucified for complaining about a show having “too many POCs”... it means that those comments usually get ignored.

Anonymous said:

The Improbably Female Cast talk, especially the part about men complaining when stories have mostly female characters/seeing spaces that are 1/3 female as "majority female", reminded me of how I saw a study somewhere talking about the differences between how men and women dream, and it was saying that men's dreams tend to have more men than women in them, while women's dreams tend to have an equal amount of members from both sexes. Yikes. Even in their sleep men want women out of the picture.

And just in case you're curious, I found the study itself! It's called "Gender Similarities and Differences in Dreams", though if you look up "differences in how men and women dream" it should be the second thing under the link that also includes a snippet of the article. To quote the study itself: "there is a gender difference in how often men and women include male and female characters in their dreams: men dream twice as often about other men as they do about women(67% vs. 33%), and women dream equally about both sexes (48% men, 52% women). This is the largest difference between American men and women." Ouch. Granted, it's specifically talking about Americans, but I don't even want to imagine how even more skewed it probably is in men's favors for men in other countries(not gonna name drop any ACTUAL countries obviously.)! Internalized misogyny runs deep, to the point where men can't even conceive of women having a more significant role than them in anything, even in dreams.

And it runs deeper than that, too. I saw a post on Micechat called "The Smurfette Principle" by JMora. You probably already know what that is, but just in case you don't(or anyone else reading this doesn't), it's a trope describing the tendency for works to have a disproportionate amount of male characters with only one female in the group, if not the whole cast(named after Smurfette, the only female Smurf). The entire article is really well written and it discusses the gender disparity in fiction quite nicely, but what I'd really like to call your attention to is near the end, where they talked about how this effects kids, especially boys.

Movies that make most of their characters male while shoehorning females in female-specific roles are treating maleness as the default while femaleness is a special case, and this leads to films about men being seen as "unisex" while films about women are seen as "for girls" only. As a result, this leads to little girls being willing to watch movies about boys AND girls, while little boys watch movies only about other boys.

This also extends to the stories they write. Girls write stories with male and female protagonists equally, while boys almost exclusively write stories with male protagonists. Girls' stories tend to have a mixture of boys and girls, whereas boys' stories have all boys in them. It relates to what I was saying earlier about how men's dreams have mostly male characters while women's dreams are equal: how our society conditions boys to think that girls just aren't important and don't matter much. To quote the article, "Girls already know they can be the main pirates; it's the boys who aren't getting the message". Thankfully my little(male) cousin likes shows about girls and shows about boys just as much: he likes Pirates of the Caribbean, and he also likes Enchanted. But the majority of boys still dismiss shows for girls as "girly" as if girly is a bad thing but boyish isn't, and when they don't it's weird.

The best part is that this led someone else to realize their own mistakes regarding overrepresentation of men vs underrepresentation of women. A guy named Mouse Macabre realized that the comic he was working on had 8 main characters, 6 male, 2 female, and had to go back and work so that there was an equal amount. All he had to do was make two of his male characters female, and there you have it! Four male main characters, 4 female! Then why is it so hard for the majority of men these days?

Ugh, I don’t know. Like, as soon as people hear “we’re adding more characters for equality/to give women more attention,” it suddenly becomes “““forced.”““

Alright then I guess we’ll just have a bunch of white male shows then because adding diversity is forced and uNnaTuRaL.

We had POCs and more female characters and suddenly certain white males feel ignored and disenfranchised. :|

Poor things, not like there are ten millions other things they could be watching instead.

Also, inevitable response to the dream thing: men agreeing to dream more about woman... but they’re sexualized.

[writerman]

Here's a prompt for you, my brother 😆Thranduil and bard fake marriage. (Bonus if Elrond totally knows it's fake, but is to amused/wants the to get together, to mention anything)

I’m so glad these asks don’t have dates on because MAN THAT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING.

Anyway, here’s a prompt response.

------------

It had all started with a text from Bard on Monday night. 

Thranduil’s phone vibrated on the soft cushion of the sofa by his leg and had caused him to nearly jump right out of his skin. 

11pm Monday night, Bard should have been asleep and Thranduil should not have been pouring himself another glass of wine as he binged trash TV under the cover of darkness. 

[Bardle] Hey, how long have we been friends?

This was surely going to lead to a request of a favour, and Thranduil had sorely wished to write back ‘Too long’ but it hadn’t been long enough in his opinion. He loved Bard more than he had any of his other friends. 

They had been close since day one but he couldn’t fully recall how they’d met. 

[Bardle] I have a favour to ask…

Ah, here we go he thought but the smile on his lips was a sure-fire sign that whatever the favour was he would accept. 

Tapping a response back he asked what exactly it was he needed him to do.

There was a very long wait between his question and Bard’s reply and at first, Thranduil had assumed he’d fallen asleep but when his phone vibrated again he considered that, perhaps, the favour was too much even for Bard and the time taken to reply was merely indecision. 

[Bardle] Can you be my husband? 

A poor proposal, Bard. Try again. Hopefully, the response was light enough that Bard would understand it was a joke because Thranduil’s heart was beating so hard in his chest he was sure it was about to break through his ribs and escape. 

[Bardle] Har har funny. I need you to pretend to be my husband.

[Bardle] There’s this reunion thing for highschool and I don’t want to show up alone with no date or partner, you know? 

Can’t you just ask someone else? 

[Bardle] Hey I know I’m not your type but this is a free party.

[Bardle] Please, there isn’t anyone else I can ask. 

In all honesty, Thranduil was happy to go and was planning on agreeing before his friend had started pleading with him. Now he just felt bad for making him feel like he was less than he was. 

There had never been a time where Thranduil had thought Bard wasn’t his type, there just didn’t seem to be a moment where he felt comfortable enough to ask Bard out. Not that he would now. A few years ago he had the chance and didn’t take it because his friend was pretty much preoccupied with raising his newborn and Thranduil would rather have helped him with the baby than ruin their friendship. 

I suppose I can come with you seeing as it is only one night. 

The response was instantaneous… well, almost. 

[Bardle] THANK YOU

[Bardle] I owe you so much. I’ll get the drinks in for the next 3 months. 

That isn’t necessary, Bard. I know you can’t afford that with Sigs off to university. Plus getting out for the night might put Legs at ease.

He thinks I’m lonely. 

[Bardle] Well, you only really hang out with me… this might be good for you. 

He didn’t see the need to respond even if he did agree with him and his son. 

When Thranduil met with Bard the next day he took his seat across from him and merely folded his arms giving the man an expectant look. 

“What?” Bard asks, he stops mid-sip of his drink and sets the cup down nervously. “What?” He asks again, this time with more concern when Thranduil doesn’t answer him. 

With the roll of his eyes and a sigh, Thranduil decides to put him out of his misery. 

“Well, when is this reunion?” 

“Oh- uh this Saturday. Is that too short notice?”

It wasn’t. 

He had nothing going on. 

“It might interrupt my very important TV watching but I suppose I can just rearrange that.” The put on sigh got a smile from Bard and sat back in his seat looking visibly relieved. 

“Were you that worried I’d say no?” 

The response was a nod as Bard busied himself with looking into his coffee cup hoping to ignore Thranduil watching him. He seemed embarrassed but Thranduil had no idea why to him, the idea was hilarious and fun and if not a tad bit self-indulgent on his part. 

Pretending to be Bard’s husband, even for one night, was as close as he’d get to actually being his husband.

That didn’t sound pathetic at all… well, maybe it did but no one had to know.

The night of the reunion rolled around quickly and Thranduil was stood in Bard’s living room in a pair of grey jeans and a soft pale green jumper. He’d promised not to come too fancy, and, at first, he had planned to ignore that request but after some thought, he decided on an outfit that looked comfortable and classy. 

“You always look so good, how do you do it?” Bard was wrangling himself into a jacket as he spoke, the reunion tickets between his lips, which Thranduil plucked from him and stowed in his back pocket. 

“Luck. Mostly.” 

“Hm, well, let’s get our story straight before the cab gets here. We met while Legolas and Sigrid were just starting high school, dated for a while then got engaged a few years later. We’ve been married for what… 3 years?” 

Entirely plausible and Thranduil hated how true and accurate that story could have been if he’d just asked Bard out that day when they ended up having to walk Tilda around the park in her pram for 3 hours to get her to go to sleep. 

The moment had been perfect. Tilda was asleep and they were sat on a bench, autumn leaves falling around them the vibrant orange brightening up what would have been a dull and grey day. 

He had just been about to speak when Bard sighed and mumbled how happy he was with the way things were right then. 

Upon hearing such Thranduil endeavoured to stow away what feelings he had and remain Bard’s friend. If he needed a friend more than a partner he could be that and had been ever since. 

“Right, we’ve been married 3 years. You tried to propose to me and I thought it was a joke and said no at first.” 

That was that. Clearly believable. 

The cab was outside, they didn’t have much time now to discuss anything other than who Bard was hoping he would not see. There was a long list.

Sadly, a hitch in their plan came as an unexpected guest at the reunion who greeted them with a smile and nothing more as he was ushered away with the crowd. 

Elrond. 

Why was he even there? 

Their mutual friend had been two years above Bard in high school, he didn’t need to be attending. 

Thranduil leaned into Bard’s ear and in an awkward yet panicked whisper he asked,

“What on earth is he doing here?”

“Hell if I know. He shouldn’t be.” They whispered back and forth for a while until they were approached by one of Bard’s old classmates he introduced himself to Thranduil who smoothly revealed he was Bard’s husband.

The look his friend gave Bard was one of surprise and admiration, Bard tried not to blush and Thranduil was charmed and amused in a rush of complicated feelings that threatened to surface before they had even stepped foot into the main hall. 

Music was thumping and the party seemed in full swing already as they headed into the hall, and Thranduil’s grip on his emotions seemed tenuous at best more so as Bard put an arm around his waist to guide him through the crowd. 

Having Bard at his side introducing him as his husband was genuinely the happiest he had felt in a long time. The crash he’d experience later was what he didn’t look forward to. 

Eventually, they had to face Elrond who offered them an even brighter smile as he approached them. 

“So nice to see you two here, but, am I mistaken in thinking that Thranduil did not attend this high school… I wonder then why he has come tonight?” Of course, he would make this as awkward as possible knowing full well Bard and Thranduil would have to continue their charade with old school friends in earshot. 

“Elrond, no need play such games, you know Bard is my husband and I am here under his plus one arrangement.” Thranduil smiled though he spoke through gritted teeth as he watched Elrond’s smile grow broader. 

“Ah, perhaps my invite to the wedding was lost in the mail?” Came the light reply. 

Out of the corner of his eye Thranduil watched as Bard covered his face with his hand and shook his head. 

This was a complete disaster from the word go. 

“I admit, I am hurt that I wasn’t invited to see you two tie the knot. You certainly kept it quiet in our social circle.” The more he spoke the more Thranduil could feel his soul leaving his body.

This was absolutely a dig at him, Elrond knew how he felt about Bard, they’d spoken about it at length over many many bottles of wine. Thranduil had lamented over his lost chance and Elrond had rolled his eyes but pat his arm sympathetically at the right times. 

It was about then that Bard spoke up to try and rescue them from the torture.

“We eloped, kept it quiet because really it is no one’s business if we’re married or not.” Oh it was a weak excuse but Elrond could see how they both suffered enough in their lie and he merely nodded pretending to be satisfied with the response. 

“Of course, yes, true love matters only to those involved. By my, didn’t it take you two a long time to realise you were meant to be together? You know Thrand-” The blond inelegantly lurched forward and effectively silenced his friend with a hand over his mouth before real-world secrets came spewing out. 

“That’s enough out of you.” He hissed into Elrond’s ear before moving back to Bard’s side with an awkward laugh. “Elrond loves the sound of his own voice sometimes, desperate times takes desperate measures. If I hadn’t stopped him chattering on we’d have been here all night…” 

The rest of the night went smoothly, and Bard was able to relax and have a few drinks with some of his old classmates. They all seemed intimidated by Thranduil but he put it down to the height he was nearly a head taller than some of those attending the reunion. 

They were joined by Elrond again outside of the school while a few of them waited on cabs and rides home. He had the decency to look somewhat sheepish and apologetic but only for a moment. 

“Out of curiosity, Elrond, why are you here tonight?” Bard asked he checked his watch as he spoke. It wasn’t very late but he felt exhausted and he wondered idly if lying to people about being married had taken a toll on his morals to the extent it drained him of energy. 

Dramatic but Bard didn’t make a habit of lying to people so he assumed that’s all it was. 

“I’m headmaster, I offered to stay behind and ensure everything went well this evening. Plus, I knew you’d be there so at least if it was boring I would have a friend to chat to. Little did I know I’d have two friends pretending to be married to each other.” 

“Yes, must have been quite the sight,” Thranduil mumbled but he refused to fully join in on the conversation. If he was being honest with himself he was a tad sore that Elrond had almost blurted out his secret to the one man who didn’t need to hear it. 

“You two look wonderful together. For a moment I believed you were actually married, wouldn’t that be a hoot?” Elrond had to be drunk to be coming out with all this nonsense and Thranduil, for good measure, laughed as though the man had made a joke. 

“You don’t think we looked good together?” Bard asked quietly.

 Thranduil watched as he pulled his gaze from Elrond to him and he felt instantly put on the spot with his reaction. 

A laugh, he should have just rolled his eyes. 

“I didn’t say that,” Thranduil fidgeted for a moment pretending to check his phone and hoping to appear nonchalant in his reply but it was too much when he had heard the hurt in Bard’s voice. “I would never say that to you.” 

A car slid up smoothly to the curb and Elrond turned to his friends and bid them goodnight, but not before offering Thranduil an apologetic look as he opened the car door and climbed inside. 

They were alone now. 

It was awful because Bard looked so wounded and was waiting for Thranduil to say something more, to use his words to fix the situation but nothing was forthcoming and instead, the silence drew out. The longer it went on the more Thranduil realised that this was the last chance he had to tell Bard everything. 

“Cab’s here,” Bard’s voice was flat as he spoke and he didn’t wait for Thranduil to speak as he turned and pulled the door open and slid inside. 

The ride was silent and Thranduil hoped that he would feel a small relief when getting out at his place but he realised to his horror that he’d left his car at Bard’s and would have to end his journey at the man’s home to retrieve it.  

He’d been too on edge all night to drink anything so at least he knew he could drive home, but the fact he had to awkwardly get out of the cab and follow his friend inside was too much to bear. 

It crossed his mind that he could just get out at home and have Legolas let him in, but it seemed the cowards way out and he really didn’t want to leave Bard feeling as though he were lesser. 

So, when the cab pulled up outside Bard’s house he leaned forward to pay the cab driver before climbing out of the car and following his friend into the dark hallway. The kids were with their other parents that week and Bard had to ramble around a large house without them which Thranduil knew the man hated. 

“I need to talk to you, Bard, before I go home. I need to tell you something because if I don’t I will hold this regret inside me for the rest of my life and I don’t think I can do that.” While he pleaded Bard stood in the dimly lit hallway merely watching him with no expression, but he relented and his shoulders droop.

“It’s late, whatever this revelation is, can’t it wait until morning?”

It couldn’t. No. 

If he didn’t say it now he would never. 

“I love you, Bard. I’m sorry to just spring this on you but I have loved you for years and it took pretending to be your husband for one night for me to be able to find the courage to admit that to you.” The words rushed out and he had little to no power to stop them, and as mortified as he was that it just happened like that he couldn’t help but feel a small flare of hope as Bard’s eyes widen in surprise. 

There was a moment where neither of them spoke but Bard paced the small space of the hallway with one hand tangled in his dark hair as he muttered something unintelligible to himself. 

“Please, say something,” Thranduil’s voice cracked as panic rose, hands jammed under his upper arms to hide their shaking, and he took a tentative step toward his friend but stopped when Bard turns suddenly to face him. 

“I always thought I wasn’t good enough for you. All these years, I wondered if I should have taken the leap and asked you out but I couldn’t ever get my head around how odd we might look.

I’m not much to look at and you… well, you know what you look like because people tell you all the time. It didn’t seem to add up, us being together.” Every word that had spilled forth from Bard’s lips was with a quiet finality that left Thranduil aching from a loss of something he’d never had. 

“So that’s it?” It came out hard and Thranduil allowed himself to move again, the shaking in his hands no longer present as he curled them into fists. “You think we don’t fit and that’s that… you won’t even give us a chance?” 

This couldn’t be happening, he had been so sure that everything would work out and that as soon as he had confessed things would just be better. He didn’t understand any of what was going on. 

“I see, well, then I’m sorry to have wasted your time,” Thranduil darted past his friend and grabbed his car keys from the coffee table where he’d left them earlier that evening. “Let me get out of your hair and you can go to bed.” He easily slid past Bard who was stood frozen still in the hallway blinking like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Wait,” Thranduil had reached the front door when Bard found his voice again. “Tell me one thing before you go?” While it could have sounded like a demand Thranduil saw it as a desperate attempt to grasp at something Bard felt he didn’t quite understand. 

“Anything,” Thranduil whispered, his eyes were focussed on the door and his body felt rigid as though it loathed to stand there and be perceived. 

“Earlier, you stopped Elrond from saying something, what was it?” 

There was no point in hiding it and it didn’t matter what he said now. 

“Nothing, just more fodder to embarrass us likely.” That wasn’t the truth he’d bottled out almost immediately because regardless of what he said it wouldn’t change Bard’s mind. “But, just so you know, when he said it was about time we got together I thought so too.” 

 “He did say that, didn’t he?” The small admission shouldn’t have given Thranduil as much hope as it did but the flicker was enough to have him try again.

“Don’t you see?” Moving toward Bard again he tried to hide the pleading tone in his voice hoping that if he sounded confident in his own words Bard would too, “Everyone in that school tonight believed we were married, no one asked if we were lying. They saw us together and thought ‘Yes they are married’. Doesn’t that mean something?” This was his last chance if Bard didn’t feel the same this was the moment he had to tell him so he could lay his feelings to rest. 

“You’re right, no one questioned us, they just… they just accepted that I had married someone that looked like they’d just stepped off a runway.” Bard let out a choked laugh as though the whole thing was still wildly unbelievable.

“Did it ever occur to you that, perhaps, they accepted it because you are just as handsome, if not more so than I?” 

“Are you on drugs?” 

“Bard, please.” 

There was an awkward laugh shared between them and the tense air around them dissipated slowly. 

“Do you want to stay for a while, I guess we have some stuff to talk about?” Bard asks as a pink blush spread over his cheeks, he’d never been embarrassed to ask his friend to stay a while longer before. 

“Is it wedding plans?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, loverboy.” 

But nothing Bard could say would get Thranduil down now, not when the door to Bard’s heart had been unlocked and thrown open. 

With a grin, Thranduil snaked an arm around Bard’s waist and pulled him closer. 

“Haven’t we waited long enough?” 

“Yeah, maybe we have.”